Christmas Cards

Christmas time is the only time I look forward to receiving mail.  Eleven months out of the year all I seem to get are bills and junk mail, but for one magical month, the mail is FUN.  I love receiving Christmas cards from friends and family and seeing how their families have grown and changed over the year. I also like to keep the cards for the year and pray over one of the families each week.  Then the next year I set those cards aside and begin again with the new cards I’ve received. 

About ten years ago I decided to start sending Christmas cards with pictures of our family on them.  We always sign the card from Karl, Laurel and the boys.  The first year I did it my grandfather called me in a full on panic thinking that Karl and me were crazy enough to adopt seven teenage boys.  I explained to him that we didn’t actually adopt them but we do consider them our own.  Each of those sweet boys over the years holds a special place in our hearts.  They are our family and our boys. 

Throughout the years, just like family dinners the upperclassmen teach the younger ones about family photos.  We do them twice a year, once on media day and then once during the season after a game.  The after game one seems to be the one we use for our Christmas card.  The boys line up and ask if this is the Christmas card picture.  If I say yes, then all of the sudden the uniforms get fixed, the hair gets a little straighter and the smiles get bigger.  It’s fun to see them so excited over the family Christmas card.

One year our team was marching through the playoffs and I just knew we were going to make it all the way to the state championship so I held off on the photo.  We lost in the quarter-finals on the last play of the game and there I stood with no photo.  I put a picture of just Karl and I on the card and boy did I hear about it. I got calls and comments from everyone about the boys not being on the card.  It had become a tradition and I messed it up.  Now I take the photo during the regular season just in case I need it. But, know that when we do make it to the state championship, I’ll be sending out New Year’s cards instead of Christmas cards.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, 

which is Christ the Lord.

Luke 2:11

From our family to yours Merry Christmas!

Cheering you on,
Laurel

The Last Supper a.k.a. Family Dinner

Each December when the season ends we have our boys over for dinner.  The rules are you must play safety and you must be on varsity.  This may sound harsh but for our boys it’s a goal.  They aim to play safety on the varsity level and they look forward to dinner at our house.  I was once asked by another player how come his brother got to come to dinner and he never did.  I said “Daniel, it’s simple. You play corner and Jacob plays safety. Therefore, he gets to come and you don’t.”  He laughed and said, yeah, you’re right.

At dinner, the menu never seems to vary.  I let the seniors vote and each time they vote for the same meal: poppy seed chicken, green bean bundles, scalloped potatoes and sopapilla cheesecake for dessert. I tell the boys that I can cook other things and that I’m actually a pretty good cook.  Each time I’m met with “Why Mrs. Pointer, why would you make something else, why?” I laugh and say okay. You want it. You got it.

On Tuesday night we held the annual end of season dinner.  Eight boys eagerly arrived at my house. They arrived with presents in hand including flowers, a sweet little nativity and a football ornament for the Christmas tree.  I love when they bring the flowers.  I really loved when Chris, a senior, turned to one of the juniors and reminded him that next year he was to arrive with flowers when they came to dinner.  These boys have been trained well by their mothers. They are all so polite and so sweet and I look forward to having them in our home.

Dinner on Tuesday had me laughing from the moment they lined up to fill their plates.  Two of the seniors were first in line and they helped themselves to servings that could feed three or four normal people.  I asked why they were taking so much and they replied because it’s our last supper.  I tried to explain that they were just graduating and not dying but I was met with some resistance. One of the sophomores offered up that they could simply come home after finals in college and join us again for dinner.  At that rate I’ll be making poppy seed chicken for 20 plus. 

One player that graduated several years ago still asks about the “life changing” green beans when he is home on break.  I love cooking for these boys. Even the pickiest kid I’ve ever met seems to find enough to eat at this dinner.  As he was going through the line I could hear the boy behind him saying “Just try it.  If you don’t like it, I’ll eat yours and mine both.”  He ate most of it without help from his neighbor.  These boys make me feel like I’m the world’s greatest chef and all I’m doing is making chicken and green beans.

The dinner conversation always includes breaking down the past season and looking forward to next year.  The seniors start referring to the other boys as “y’all” and “next year’s team.”  I try to remind them that once a Cowboy always a Cowboy (or wherever we are at the time) and they quickly remind me that to talk in the present as “we” makes them sad. Once again I say, you’re graduating not dying and I’m met again with “this is our last supper.”

I love these boys and as I watch them grow up and graduate I too, get a little sad. But I always remind them that it’s still family dinner and not their last supper.  They will always be our boys. They will always be family and they are always welcome for family dinner.  It’s never really their last supper.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

When it all Suddenly Stops

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post.  It’s taken that long to let the events all sink in and get to a point where I could express it all.  Two weeks ago today we were in AT&T Stadium (Cowboys Stadium) and we were within moments of a huge victory.  We went into the game as the underdogs to most of the world, but our team and coaches knew we could win it.  We knew that this was our year and that we were going to march our way to the state championship.

We were less than 40 seconds away from upsetting the team that had knocked us out of the playoffs the previous year.  We could smell victory. Our fans were ecstatic and there was a hush on the other side of the field.  Then it happened.  The tide shifted and they scored with just seconds to go to take the lead. We lost by four points.  We stood there numb and speechless and there was nothing we could do.  We couldn't even get to our coaches and our boys and console them or hug them.  The next two teams were already taking the field for their game.  We simply had to wave from the stands and try to express our love and consolation as we were asked to exit so the next set of fans could come into the stands.

By the time my coach got home. He was tired, frustrated and still in a bit of shock. You see, we had been this close before just a couple of years ago and literally lost on the last play of the game.  Here we sat revisiting that moment all over again.  It seemed surreal, but yet, that’s part of football.  It only takes a second to change everything.  We managed to go to dinner but there was little conversation. There wasn't a lot you could say other than I’m sorry.  My coach scrolled through the Twitter feed of the game to analyze every play.  He spent time texting his players to make sure they were okay and to let them know how much he loved and respected each and every one of them.  We both received texts from players and parents and we responded back to them.  It was the best way to start the recovery process from the pain and frustration we were feeling.

If you’re reading this and questioning the words recovery and pain, you’re not alone and you’re probably not that tied into sports.  If you understand those words then you get it. You understand what it means the season to just suddenly stop.  You get that there is a void in your week where practice should be. Your coach is now home way earlier than is to be expected at night and that your life as you've known it for the past few months, suddenly and without notice takes a different shift.

Throughout the past couple of weeks several friends and community members have remarked to us that we must be “relieved that the season is over” or that I must be “excited that my coach is home.”  Neither could be further from the truth.  My coach and I both try to explain, that no we are not happy or relieved.  We were stopped short of our goal. We are going to miss time with our seniors and our players.  All we wanted for Christmas was a state championship.  I tried to explain to one friend when he said “you must be relieved that it’s all over”, that in his world that would be me like me saying to him, “you must be relieved that you almost closed that deal, but you didn't quite make it and your competing vendor won the contract .”  He just looked at me like I was a bit crazy.

So it’s been a couple of weeks and playoffs are going on without us. We are now cheering on our friends and fellow coaches that are still in the hunt for that state championship. We are also still working on letting the pain and frustration of a season stopped short go away. The Christmas decorations are up and the world is continuing to move ahead. My coach has already started the conversations with his head coach and other coaches about personnel for next season and what off-season has in store for them.  Life moves and so must we. Our boys are coming to dinner this week and I can’t wait to have them all around my dining room table as we talk and laugh about the past season. I’m excited to hear their perspective on the season.  I’m also sad that it will be the last time we gather with this group of seniors as part of our family, but more on that next week.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

Thankful

Over the past several weeks I’ve watched many of my friends post on Facebook each day all of the things that they are thankful for. Rather than posting daily I’ve been saving all my things up for one big list.

First and foremost I’m thankful to be a child of God. He loves me even when I’m not loveable and loves me so much that he sent his one and only son to die an awful death on the cross for me and forgive me of all of my sins that one day I can live eternally with him in heaven.  I’m thankful for his grace, love and mercy. I’m thankful that he walks with me each and every day of my life and that there is no circumstance that he won’t be there to walk, guide or carry me through.

I’m thankful for my parents who loved me enough to teach me the love and grace of my Savior and brought me up as a child of God. They provided a loving and caring home and provided me with a great Christian based education all the way from kindergarten through college. They loved me, invested in me, and didn’t kill me when I probably needed killing (most likely 7-12 grades). The raised me to be independent, to think on my own, to be gracious loving and kind to all those that I meet. They were and ARE great role models and I’m blessed to have them as my parents.

I’m thankful that the Lord gave me the most incredible husband that any girl could dream of having. I’m thankful that the Lord picked him out for me and saved him for me and then placed us both in just the right place at just the right time so that we could meet.  My coach is my balance and is absolutely perfect for me. He loves me like no one else can. He can make me laugh and he can bring me back to reality when my imagination gets the best of me. He shares my hopes, my dreams, and my frustrations, my love for all things Disney. He’s great about bringing out my silly side and helping me to just relax and have a little fun.  All of these things are great, but most importantly he shares my faith.  He loves the Lord with all of his heart, soul and mind and he strives daily to walk him.  

I’m thankful for how the Lord always places me in just the right place and just the right time so that I can meet some of the most amazing people who have played some major roles in my life.  These people have been a blessing throughout my life and taught me things every step of the way.   My friends have loved me and supported me. They pick me up and dust me off and encourage me. When I lose my way, they redirect me and set me back on the right path. They invest in me.

I’m thankful that for the incredible jobs that I have had that have been beyond my wildest dreams. I never dreamed of working for NASA or the White House but I’ve been blessed to do both. I never dreamed of working for one of the largest breast cancer organizations in the world, but I do and I’m blessed every day by it.

I’m thankful to be the wife of a coach. I’m blessed to be able to watch my husband do his job and I get to see him put his passion into play each and every day. I’m blessed to be a part of the lives of so many young men and women and help invest in them. I’m thankful that they become a part of our family and that we become a part of theirs. I'm also thankful that our relationships with them continue long after high school.  

I’m blessed to get to know and love coaching families from all over the state of Texas. I’m thankful to know so many incredible coaches wives who love their husbands and their jobs as much as I do. I’m thankful that some of these women have become lifelong friends and that I am a better person for knowing them.

Today I’m thankful that we are still in the playoffs and that our team gets to put it all out there on the field at least one more time this afternoon.  Today with the weather we are having I’m thankful that we are able to play in an enclosed stadium that keeps us out of the cold and rain.  

Time to get dressed and go cheer on my coach and his team!

Blessings,
Laurel

Holidays + Playoffs = Flexibility

It’s high school football playoff time in Texas.  There’s a chance to play at least 6 more weeks of football and to win that state championship.  It’s also a time when the family schedule can no longer be planned for more than one week at a time.  If you’re married to the coach you understand this fact and you just plan around it.  You get used to planning your life one week at a time and responding to social requests with “I don’t yet. I’ll let you know after the game.” If you’re an outsider looking in, this doesn't make sense and drives most people crazy. Most families are planning Thanksgiving and Christmas and everything in between.   Not so at our house or through many homes of high school coaches throughout the state of Texas. This is when you learn that the best ability is flexibility.

Thanksgiving has always been my mother’s favorite holiday.  She loves the planning, the detail, the cooking, the food and loves to make the day an event.  When I married my coach, her ideas for Thanksgiving had to shift a bit.   Now when she calls and asks “What are we doing for Thanksgiving?” our response is we can tell if we lose or we can wait and see if the team is practicing Thanksgiving morning.   Over the years she has come to embrace the fact that there is no real planning for the day usually until the week of Thanksgiving.  Now she calls and says, “How many do we need to plan for and are we doing real dishes or paper?”  My response is still “I don’t know and it depends on how many need a home for the day.” 

I learned early on in my life from my mother and my grandmother that the holiday is about more than just your immediate family coming together about the day. It’s about sharing it with loved ones from every part of your life whether its home, work, church, school, etc. One of the fun parts of the day was to see who all arrived to share the meal and the day with us.  You never knew if there were going to be 10, 20 or even 30 people when it was time to eat.

Thanks to playoffs that tradition now continues at my house where my biological family and my football family have a chance to come together as one big happy family and celebrate together.  It’s a time to share all the things we are thankful for and having both my families under one roof is a blessing.

One of my recent favorite Thanksgivings was a couple of years ago.  The team was practicing early Thursday morning and then leaving early Friday morning to travel for a playoff game. With no time to leave town to visit friends and family we invited any and all of the coaches and their families to our house for the day. When my mother asked how many we were serving and I said close to 30 she laughed and so ok let’s make a game plan. A sweet family heard what we were doing and donated the ham and the turkey and we took it from there.  It was exactly what you’d call a Martha Stewart Thanksgiving and yes we did use paper plates over china that year, but it was a really fun day. I got to spend time in the kitchen with my mother and my friends cooking, talking and laughing and that’s really what the holiday is about.  It’s about being thankful for your faith, family and friends and all the blessings that come with them. It doesn't matter where you are or how fancy you meal is it’s about the joy that comes with the preparation and then the celebration you have together.

So, what are we doing for Thanksgiving? I know I will be with my family and I know we are cooking. Other than that, I’ll let you know right after the game.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

The World Doesn't Stop Just Because I Do

This week I've been sick.  So sick that I missed an entire week of work and I even missed the football game on Friday night.  For me, that’s BIG. Before this game, I had only missed three games in sixteen years. So coming to the decision to miss in order to stay home and get well was huge for me.  If it hadn't been for the Twitter account that gives play by play on the game, I might have been tempted to stand in the cold and in the rain to see the game.

Sunday I knew I was sick and I could tell it wasn't just going to be a get over it in a day kind of thing. I had been working all weekend and on my way home I stopped by the grocery store and the drug store and stocked up on everything I knew I’d need for the week.  When I got home I immediately crashed.  When my coach came home he was scared when I opened my mouth and a man’s voice came out.  He declared that I was truly sick. On Monday I crawled out of bed long enough to take his game clothes to the cleaners and to go to do the doctor.  I texted my boss, turned on my out of office on my email and went back to bed and have remained there all week.

I grew up as an only child and I've found over the years that it has been great training to be the wife of the coach. I’m used to doing things on my own and being pretty independent. I can take care of any household catastrophe, deal with car issues and manage all of the day to activities on my own. I can do it all by myself if that’s what needed. I’m great at being independent to a point. That point comes when I’m sick. Then I like to have someone there take care of me, check on me, make sure that I have something to eat and drink.  But, as the wife of the coach and it’s during season, I've learned to either suck it up or do without that someone or to call my mother. This week I did a little of both.  I was independent for a few days but when my mother called and offered to bring dinner, I didn't hesitate in accepting her offer. She makes a great meatloaf that I’m sure can cure just about anything.  At least it does for me.

Although I've been in bed all week, the world didn't stop turning.  Knowing I was going to be sick for more than a day I thought I had planned accordingly and taken care of most of the important tasks for the week.  Even with good intentions, the laundry kept coming, dinners still needed to be made and the day to day tasks just didn't stop.  I had pretty much ignored all of this till yesterday morning when the phone rang. On the other end was my coach who was already at school. He was asking where his game pants were. I coughed and gasped all at the same time and remembered that I hadn't picked them up from the cleaners.  The world had gone on while I had stopped.

I crawled out of bed and threw on my lovely sweats and quickly drove to the cleaners and picked up his game pants. I know better than to go anywhere when I’m barely dressed and look like a mess. I was hoping to slip up to the field house and have my coach run out and meet me at the car.  What I forgot was that it was early enough that I was going to get caught in the carpool lane at school and manage to run into every student and coach I know while trying to give my coach his pants. I smiled and waved and tried to keep my head down. I’m sure there were several comments of “What’s wrong with Mrs. Coach?”  I handed my coach his pants and wished him good luck in the game and then went home and back to bed where I remained until this morning.

It’s been six days now and it’s time to join reality again and the real world. There’s laundry to do and grocery shopping to be done and oh yes, the pants must go back to the cleaners for another week.  Let’s hope I remember to pick them up before Friday.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

The Joys of Former Players

One of the greatest joys of being the wife of the coach is seeing the boys succeed past their high school playing days. We have been blessed to be part of teams that are full of talent. Every season we enjoy watching the college scouts come and recruit. Each year there are a few from the team that sign with D1 and/or D2 schools.

During one of our moves we went into the Verizon store to change sign up for our new cable plan. I shocked my salesman when he was trying to talk to me about movie packages and I said I’d rather talk sports packages.  I needed to be able to see all of my boys play on Saturday. The salesman said he’d never had a woman ask for that.  I told him not many women have children playing in the Big 12, PAC10, Ivy Leagues, Big 10, etc. I however, did and I wanted to watch them all play ball.  I now spend Saturdays doing laundry and anything else I can possibly do in front of the TV while I watch my boys play ball.  I love hearing the announcers talk about my boys and where they came from and what a great athlete they are.  Every Saturday I’m a proud mama as I sit and cheer on my boys and watch them do great things at the college level.

Beyond college ball we've had a few that have even made it to the professional level. I can still remember where I was and what I was doing the night our phone rang during the NFL draft and it was one of our former players calling to tell my coach that he had been drafted. He wanted to say thank you to him for helping him to succeed to the ultimate level of football.  That night I saw the joy in the face of my coach and new right then that my coach was doing what he was called to do.  He got the joy of watching all of his hard work and effort come to fruition as one of his players met his life goal of playing in the NFL.

Although not all of our players go on to play in college or in the NFL we still get the joy of watching them succeed in their college years and in their chosen professions.  We love holidays when they come home and we get to see them up at the field house or out in the community.  We enjoy hearing what’s going on in their lives and what they are up to. It’s fun to hear how school is going, who they are dating, and what they have experienced “out in the real world.”

For many years we had a special group of boys that we met each Christmas at the home of one their parents. We enjoyed dinner and then came the ultimate gingerbread house making competition.  You’d be amazed at the creativity level and designs of some of those houses.  These boys (now men) hold a special place in our hearts because they were a part of our wedding.  Now they are grown and married or have moved off to further their careers. 

A couple of them have joined the coaching ranks. Each year at coaching school we get to have our own little reunion and see how their kids have grown and catch up on their lives. This year while I was working on of the booths I looked up and there stood one of our former players.  He was grinning ear to ear and couldn't wait to find coach.  I asked what he was up to and he said that he was now a graduate assistant at a university here in Texas.  I couldn't believe my eyes or ears.  He was one that I wasn't sure what track he was headed down.  He told me he couldn't wait to tell Coach.  He was so proud to tell us that he had “gotten his act together” and now he was coaching. He said it was in large part because of my coach who didn't give up on him and now he wanted to do the same for other kids.

It’s been a joy over the years to see these boys grown into men and see where life leads them.  We have been with to meet them for dinner. They have become doctors, lawyers, accountants, engineers, professional athletes and others have become coaches and teachers.

Being the wife of coach isn't always easy and sometimes the hours are long and the frustration level is high but there are rewards. The greatest reward is to see these young men come back after they have graduated and to hear them tell my coach thank you.  They say thank you for investing in them and spending time with them. They thank him for not killing them when sometimes they needed killing. Others thank him for just being there and listening. I even heard one thank him for all the times my coach yelled at him because that’s exactly what he needed.

If you are a former athlete and have never thanked your high school or junior high coaches, I encourage you to do so. If they are like my coach they love hearing their athletes and what’s going on in their lives.  They also cherish what you say and every note that is written to them.  Hearing from a former player is priceless and it makes the hours and all of the work worth it.

Cheering you on,

Laurel