Take a Minute to be a Blessing

Social Media has its ups and its downs. I’m a firm believer in it’s in how you use it and what you do with the information it provides you. Over the past several weeks I’ve seen a lot of people walking through some really tough times in their lives. The only way I knew about these hurts and health issues was because of social media. Friends have posted about losing a loved one or being in the hospital was some very serious issues. My initial response was to do what many people do and just post a response back of “I’m praying for you.” That got me to wondering, how many people say “I’m praying for you” but how many actually stop and pray.  In today’s society has that phrase become a lot like “How are you?” and everyone responds back with “I’m good.”  It’s just become automatic.  It had for me. At some point it just became the automatic statement that I’d type or that would just fall out of my mouth.  A few weeks ago I realized that had to stop. As I was posting to a friend, “I’ll pray for you and your family,” I actually stopped and prayed right then and there and it only took a minute.

As the week continued I was challenged to find others ways to reach out and support my friends and our athletes. We had one athlete who was having an extended stay in the hospital. My coach and I had Tweeted with him and had been praying for him but I knew we needed to brighten his day and the day of his sweet mom who hadn’t left his side, so I sent flowers.  That phone call to the florist only took a minute but yet its impact was huge.

Every day there is someone you know that is walking through something in their life that is causing them to hurt or be discouraged. As the wife of a coach that world of hurts and discouragement expands beyond the traditional group of friends and family to those of the athletes and their families as well.  The challenge then lies in finding out who is hurting and how you can help to make a difference. I’ve found through the years that sitting in the stands in and around the parents I can hear what’s going on in the lives of the athletes off the field. I also follow them on Twitter. It’s amazing what you can learn on Twitter. When I hear or see those things that are impacting the life of the student I stop right then and pray for him/her and then will even Tweet back a word of encouragement and to let them know he/she is being prayed for.   It only takes a minute and the athlete knows that you love and care for him/her both on and off the field and the realization is made that my coach and I want to be a part of his/her life always and not just while they are in season of their particular sport.

This week I got to see that lasting connection in action. As the college kids are coming home from school they are stopping by to say hello and some are even coming “home” for dinner. My coach and I got to have family dinner with two former athletes this week.  It was fun to see how much they have grown up and was also heartwarming that they were looking to us for advice.  This was because we had invested in them while they were in high school and they understood that that investment didn’t stop on the last play of the game their senior year.  They are a part of our family forever.

Hurts don’t stop just because the season does. Our athletes become our children. It doesn’t matter if you played a certain position on the team what matters is that you were on the team and the team is family.  So I encourage you to look out for athletes and to take a minute to pray, Tweet, send a note, send flowers, or send something. Just take a minute to do what needs to be done and don’t just make the automatic statement of “I’ll pray for you.” Actually do it and the watch the difference that it makes.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

It's Almost Mother's Day

If you’ve read my blog before you know that I don’t have physical children of my own but I have an entire high school filled with athletes that I think of as my children.  After coaching for seventeen years my coach has worked with hundreds of athletes and we think of each and every one of them as if they were our own.

As Mother’s Day approaches, after all these years, my heart still aches a bit that I’m not a mother in the “traditional” sense of the word.  The ache has eased through the years, but it’s still there. There will always be moments and experiences that I will never get to have like I would if I had my own children. But, please hear me when I say that I'm not writing this to gain sympathy or for you to feel sorry for me. For years I did feel sorry for myself and that got me nowhere but deeper in my misery. Over time though, I have learned that the Lord has a special purpose for me in this world and I need to set my focus on him and that purpose. That purpose is supporting my husband as he teaches and coaches all of those athletes and knowing that what he does isn’t just a job but it’s a ministry and it’s a ministry in which I can play a major role.

A sweet friend reminded me this week that I am still a mother though, and that I have played that role to all of those teenage young men who have crossed our path these past seventeen years. I was also reminded by one of those boys this week.  He’s at a cross-road in his life and the first people he reached out to for guidance and support were me and my coach.  He’s been away at college for two years now, and yet he still knew that he could call us and that we would be there for him.  When he gets home from school next week, he’s coming to dinner so I can cook for him and so that my coach can assure him that it’s all going to be alright.  He’s even requested a special dessert that I make. This makes my heart happy. 

I’ve noticed that past few days that several of my friends have been posting life lessons and phrases that their mothers taught them and that they now teach their kids. Since I don’t get to share my motherly advice on a daily basis I thought I’d put my “Motherisms” down in writing to share with you all. 

• Always remember who you are and whose you are. 
• As long as you live, always be yourself. No other. Just you!
• Your best ability should always be flexibility.
• Never miss an opportunity to say I love you.
• Know that you are a child of the King
• A little dirt never hurt anyone
• God created our sense of humor. Don't be afraid to use it!
• Always extend grace. You have no idea the hurt someone is carrying around with them.
• Concentrating on helping others helps you forget your own hurts.
• Take time to listen to what the Lord is trying to tell you. Life is so much better when you follow his lead.

      Many of these were taught to me by my mother and others I've learned along the way. I hope they are things that you can apply to your own life or that you can pass along to those you love. Life is a grand adventure and our plans are not always God’s plans, but one lesson I keep learning over and over is that His plans are always the best plans. My daily goal is to keep striving to keep my focus where it belongs.

Cheering you on!
Laurel

He’s Never Really out of Season

After almost sixteen years of marriage you’d think I’d learn not to giggle or flat out laugh out loud when I hear a parent or friend say “Well at least he will be home now that the season is over.”  Monday night at the track banquet was the most recent time I heard this.  I just smiled and said, “Yes, spring football doesn’t start till day after tomorrow.”  Then I received the same puzzled look that I usually receive after statements like that and we changed the subject.

For coaches and their families, there is never a clear definition between seasons.  For my coach our schedule goes like this:

July – December: Football (at least we better be playing in December)
January – May: Track
May: Spring Football
June – July: 7 on 7 (while he's not actually coaching, it doesn't stop him from going and watching)

And so it goes. One stops and the other immediately picks up in its place.  With playoffs and district, area, regional and state meets there’s a chance that my coach just like many others could actually be coaching two sports at once.  That’s always a fun time in the field house and at home.  Then you add in the after season banquets and you never know which way to which sport or event you are supposed to be headed. Thank goodness we installed a family calendar in the kitchen so we can post where we are supposed to be and when you are supposed to be there.

I recall one year when my coach had to be at “his second sport” for a game the same night as the football banquet. That night we divided and sort of conquered. He went to coach and I went to the banquet – hence the sort of conquer. I wasn’t the best substitute but at least I was there to answer the question “Where’s coach?”

If you’re married to a coach you learn to understand this and learn to adapt. At our house we have the family calendar meeting on Sunday. We write everything on the board and then discuss how to attack the week. Many weeks there is a divide and conquer mentality. Take this weekend for instance. The deck in our backyard is in desperate need of repair. We have a guy coming to do an estimate and due to a scheduling conflict earlier in the week, he had to reschedule for today. So rather than join my coach at an event this morning at the school, I’m home waiting for the deck guy. When the air conditioner went out last fall, I was the one waiting for the repair guy. These are just two examples of times when my coach is at work and I arrange to be home to deal with the issue.

There will always be an issue and there will always be a season. My mother always said “Your best ability should be flexibility.” My mother has taught me more than I can imagine in life but this is one lesson that I apply on a DAILY basis being married to a coach. Some days we call and audible and adjust. The season and the game never stop and neither do we.

Cheering you on!
Laurel

I’m going to Prom!!!

Yes, you read that correctly.  Just days away from my “fortyish” birthday I’m headed to prom.  Growing up and attending First Baptist Academy we didn’t have prom.  My first prom was actually on my 30^th birthday.  All of the coaches and wives dressed up, went to dinner and then went to prom.  When we got there the football boys sang happy birthday to me.  It was one of my favorite coaching and birthday memories.

Every year since then, we have attended prom.  I love it!  It’s so much fun to see all of the boys dressed up with their beautiful dates on their arms.  There are some I have to do a double take to recognize them. I’m used to seeing them all hot and sweaty and sporting a number on their chest.  On prom night, they are clean, showered, shaved and looking like young men.  Watching the boys introduce their dates to me and to coach always makes me smile. It’s fun to see the girls in their dresses and to see what fashion flair the boys try to add to their tuxes.  It's fun to stand at the entrance with a couple of the other wives and watch the fashion show as they parade in.

Without fail on the night of prom someone always says “I can’t believe y’all are here.” My coach and I always respond, “Why not?  We love coming to prom!”  We think it’s important for the kids to see us outside of the gym or the field. We want them to know that we are there to be a part of their whole life, not just the athletic part of their life.  It’s fun to be able to share memorable moments with them.  By this point in the year, we’ve said goodbye to them on the football field and on prom night we begin saying goodbye to them as seniors.  It’s the first official event of the graduation season.  For that reason, I love it and I hate it all at the same moment, but more on that another day.

One of my favorite moments each year is when I finally coheres my coach onto the dance floor.  We get out there with the kids and dance a little.  They all laugh and make a few comments about coach and his moves and he laughs along.  I don’t know why, but they are always surprised that he’s a pretty good dancer. It’s good for them to see him let loose a little and that there’s more to him behind that whistle and big voice. He’s actually a lot of fun and can have a good time. I think he’s a great date and by far the cutest guy there.

So I’m off to get my nails done and make sure my little black dress is ready to go.  I’ll see you on the dance floor!

Cheering you on!
Laurel

How Did I Get to be the Oldest???

So I’m not exactly sure when it happened. I can’t pinpoint the exact time or the exact date, but it happened. Somewhere along the way, I went from being the youngest and newest married member of our coaching staff to, ummm how do I phrase this,  the most experienced in both age and wisdom on our staff.  Yes, you read it correctly, I’m now the oldest wife on the staff and my coach and I have been married longer than any of our coaching couples.  Where did the time go? 

They say time flies when you are having fun.  For me and my coach that is exactly what has happened.  Time has flown.  I feel like it was just yesterday that we got married, had our honeymoon and arrived home to reality. Literally the day after we arrived home the defensive coordinator was knocking on our door and whisking my coach off to Coaching School.  I believe Coach Lawrence’s exact words were” Kiss him goodbye. He’s mine now till then end of the season.”  It’s hard to believe that was 16 seasons ago.

 

 

I’ve learned a lot in those 16 seasons. Now that I’m, how shall we say it, the most experienced wife of the staff, I feel it’s my time and my duty to pass on what I have learned to the newest set of wives. When we first got married, we weren’t on a staff that had many wives. The wives that we did have weren’t what you’d called experienced so I had to learn a lot of things the hard way.  My first lesson was that you can’t turn around and tell a parent that is yelling at your husband “Well, if your son would actually run the play my husband called, that might not have happened.”  Nope! Don’t do it. Don’t say it.  You can think it. But, don’t you dare say it out loud. 

Lesson number two – long hours.  Yes, your husband is going to work long hours.  Don’t complain.  Don’t do it.  He’s pouring into the lives of those young men.  For some he is a father. For others he is a coach. For others he is a pastor.  For some he is the one and only Jesus that player may ever see.  He is doing what the Lord called him to do.  He is fulfilling his passion in life. Don’t be the barrier.  Yes, I get that you may have children at home that need him and yes, you need him to, but if he is doing what the Lord has asked him to do, then the Lord will make time for ALL of it. 

Lesson three – get involved!  If you are frustrated by the hours or you are wondering what’s going on – go find out.  Go to practice and watch.  Watch him pour into those athletes.  Watch where his time and energy go.  Take an active role.  Have his position players over to dinner.  Write them notes of encouragement.  Bake some cookies and have your kids decorate them and send them up to the team. Be there on Friday night.  Win or lose , hug  your coach and hug his players.  Pray for all of them.  It goes a long way with both your coach and your players.   Invest in them and you will see the blessings both on and off the field.

Lesson four – get to know the parents.  Listen to what’s going on in the stands. Introduce yourself to the parents. Let them see that you are there and that you are invested in the program. Let them see that you care not only about your coach but that you care about their son as well.  Get to know what’s going on at home. I learned early on that things at home affect the outcome of the field. If there’s an issue with mom or dad sometimes the player doesn’t let the coach know. We once had a kid who’s mom had breast cancer. The player was so worried about his mom that it was affecting his grades, his behavior and his time on the field. Once I found that out and shared it with my coach, we were able to minister to the player and his family in a completely different manner.

 

Lesson five – the season may be over, but football never is.  Some people think football is a few months and then it’s over.  Football is a part of your life, every day of every year.  It’s not just a season.  I HATE those plaques, napkins, signs and whatever else that say “We interrupt this marriage for football season.”  Ladies I’m here to tell you it’s a part of your marriage.  Just like you are, the Lord is, your family is, Football is a part of your marriage.  It’s there 365 days a year.  Why, you ask?  Because it’s his passion, it’s his job and it’s what he’s called to do. Also, because it's a part of who he is.  Football is there.  Embrace it. Enjoy it.  The moment you don’t is the moment it becomes a sore spot in your marriage.  I encourage you to embrace it and become a part of it.

Lesson six – take time to work on your marriage and re-engage with each other. My coach has always said that you attend football clinics to learn new tactics and new plays, you should do the same with your marriage.  I encourage you to go to a marriage retreat and invest in each other. Take a weekend away from football, away from your kids, away from the everyday tasks in life and spend quality time together in God’s word.  Take a weekend and go to a Coaches Outreach or FCA retreat.  Reconnect with each other and invest time in the WORD  and in each other.  Remember why you fell in love and remember that the Lord is the foundation of your marriage.  Spend time together in Him and let his blessing s flow.

I could go on and on and I’m sure other blogs will have more lessons but these are the foundation that have seen me and my coach through our first sixteen seasons. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for our next sixteen and beyond.

Cheering you on!
Laurel

The Unsung Heroes

You may not always see them but they are always there.  They are there before the athletes arrive for practice or a game and they are the last ones out the door after a practice or a game.  They work hard and long and are always in the background seeing to the needs of the athletes.  They are the student trainers.

Throughout the years I just always assumed that like the athletes and the cheerleaders, there was someone or some group that took special care of the trainers.  After speaking with our athletic trainers I found out that that’s not always the case.  These students put in extremely long hours and give the team all they’ve got and they do it for little to no recognition in most cases.  Yes, they are recognized at the athletic banquets, but throughout the year they seem to be the unsung heroes.  

Other than sending candy bags for Halloween not much had been done for our trainers.  So this year, the coaches’ wives decided that it was time for a little thanks and recognition.  We started by following the trainers on Twitter and tweeting words of encouragement on game days.  During early morning two a days, we sent muffins up to the school so they could have a treat once they were done tending to the athletes. Once the season officially started several of the wives would send up cookies on Friday mornings and have our coaches drop the by the training room. By the time I'd get to work my phone and the phones of the other wives were ringing constantly with Tweets of thanks. 

So much was done for the football players and we wanted to make sure the trainers knew that they were appreciated for what they do for the athletes  They are a part of the team and without them it would be difficult for the players to do their jobs on the field.  Thanks so our trainers, the athletes were always hydrated, taped, bandaged and treated as needed.They provided contact solution, help stretching and anything else that was possibly needed.

But for the trainers it doesn't stop after football season.  Our student trainers are more than just a one sport and done kind of group.  They all have a second sport that they support and some even take on a third sport.  These dedicated young men and women are part of the program all year long.

Many of them are a part of the program for the four years that they are in high school. Two young ladies hold a special place in the heart of my coach and I know he holds a special place in their hearts as well.  As freshmen, Zoe and Chandler adopted my coach and his safeties and their special group. These girls followed my coach around and made sure he and his players stayed hydrated. The stood by as drills were run in practice and every Friday night they were standing beside him as the boys warmed up to take the field.  For four years these girls were there every step of the way.  Zoe and Chandler had declared that no other trainers were “allowed” to work with the safeties and my coach. This group belonged to them and to them only.  The boys knew it, the trainers knew it and my coach knew it. 

As the regular season was drawing to a close and it was the last practice for Zoe and Chandler as seniors a moment happened that they will never forget.  As they were standing there ready to watch the drills begin, my coach handed them the ball and simply said “Run it.”  The girls looked at him with surprise and he said “You've seen me run these drills with the guys for four years. Now it’s your turn to run it.” The girls grinned with delight and giggled as girls do, and then they begin to run the drills.  Zoe and Chandler have graduated but they still talk about the time Coach let them run the drills.

These kids deserve the same kind of support and encouragement that we give to our athletes, cheerleaders, band, drill teams, etc. So as you’re out there cheering for the team, don’t forget those unsung heroes that are standing on the sideline.  They are there and ready to jump into action when needed and to make sure those athletes have everything they need.  Cheer for your student trainers and it wouldn't hurt to send them some cookies every now and then.  They really seem to love them.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

Happy Signing Day!!!

         

To most people in the world Wednesday was just another day, but to those involved in high school football it was one of the best days of the year. At our house we say that it’s our favorite non-holiday holiday.  Wednesday was Signing Day also known as National Letter of Intent Day.  The day high school football players from around the country commit to playing football on the college level.

My coach has been coaching for 17 years now and each and every year we have been blessed to be a part of a program where at least one player has signed on Signing Day. This year was a very interesting year as one member of team also happened to be one of the most recruited players in the nation. Solomon chose not to declare where he was going to school until Signing Day. Because of that, ESPN was in the house to show on national TV where Solomon intended to play ball and most importantly where we intended to graduate from with a degree in hand.   Our day started at 7:00 am in the school auditorium with a room full of media, friends and family all waiting to see what Solomon had to say. As with everything he does, Solly did it in style and announced to the nation that we was going to play ball and graduate from Stanford University.

From there we headed into the school gym where ten tables were set up for all of our boys who were signing their letters of intent. The tables were decorated with balloons and banners showing where each player was headed next fall. The boys were introduced by our head coach and proud parents smiled and took photos as the letters were signed.

Every year signing day is special but this year it took on an even greater meaning. This year we were asked to be a special part of signing day for two special players, one at our school and one at a competing school. At our school we were asked to sit as a part of the family for one of my coach’s position players. Chris has played for my coach for four years and it’s been a joy and pleasure to watch him grow into the young man that he has become. Our families have become one and family photos on game night and other special occasions always involve both sets of parents. 

After our signing day was over we were invited to an opposing school to be a part of their special day as well. A family friend had a son also signing his letter of intent. Since our schools were in the same UIL District we have had the pleasure of playing against Braelen and his school for the past several years. Braelen played the same position that my coach coaches so it’s been fun to watch him grow and develop and there’s a special bond between the two of them. We were blessed to be asked to come watch him sign his letter.

As the wife of a coach this day each year is one of my favorites. I’m so proud of the boys and all that they have accomplished on the high school level. I’m proud of my coach to see all of his hard work and countless hours that he has poured into those boys pay off. It’s fun to watch him hug, shake hands and take photos with his boys and congratulate them as they head to the next level. He’s had a part in that and while talent plays a major role in getting to that level, so does coaching. Helping those boys define their talents and skills and encouraging them to reach deeper and work harder is what it’s all about. I’m also proud to watch those young men say thank you to their coaches for believing in them, working with them and yes, even yelling at them to help them achieve their goal of playing college ball.

If you’ve never attended signing day, I encourage you to do so. It’s a special moment to see it all come together off the field. You see the coaches and parents beaming with pride and joy. You see the boys excited about the upcoming opportunities in their future. Watching those boys sign those letters is one moment in time where we can see it all come together between the athletes, the parents and the coaches. It’s a magical moment and every year I’m blessed to be a part of it.

Happy Signing Day!

Cheering you on!

Laurel