How Did I Get to be the Oldest???

So I’m not exactly sure when it happened. I can’t pinpoint the exact time or the exact date, but it happened. Somewhere along the way, I went from being the youngest and newest married member of our coaching staff to, ummm how do I phrase this,  the most experienced in both age and wisdom on our staff.  Yes, you read it correctly, I’m now the oldest wife on the staff and my coach and I have been married longer than any of our coaching couples.  Where did the time go? 

They say time flies when you are having fun.  For me and my coach that is exactly what has happened.  Time has flown.  I feel like it was just yesterday that we got married, had our honeymoon and arrived home to reality. Literally the day after we arrived home the defensive coordinator was knocking on our door and whisking my coach off to Coaching School.  I believe Coach Lawrence’s exact words were” Kiss him goodbye. He’s mine now till then end of the season.”  It’s hard to believe that was 16 seasons ago.

 

 

I’ve learned a lot in those 16 seasons. Now that I’m, how shall we say it, the most experienced wife of the staff, I feel it’s my time and my duty to pass on what I have learned to the newest set of wives. When we first got married, we weren’t on a staff that had many wives. The wives that we did have weren’t what you’d called experienced so I had to learn a lot of things the hard way.  My first lesson was that you can’t turn around and tell a parent that is yelling at your husband “Well, if your son would actually run the play my husband called, that might not have happened.”  Nope! Don’t do it. Don’t say it.  You can think it. But, don’t you dare say it out loud. 

Lesson number two – long hours.  Yes, your husband is going to work long hours.  Don’t complain.  Don’t do it.  He’s pouring into the lives of those young men.  For some he is a father. For others he is a coach. For others he is a pastor.  For some he is the one and only Jesus that player may ever see.  He is doing what the Lord called him to do.  He is fulfilling his passion in life. Don’t be the barrier.  Yes, I get that you may have children at home that need him and yes, you need him to, but if he is doing what the Lord has asked him to do, then the Lord will make time for ALL of it. 

Lesson three – get involved!  If you are frustrated by the hours or you are wondering what’s going on – go find out.  Go to practice and watch.  Watch him pour into those athletes.  Watch where his time and energy go.  Take an active role.  Have his position players over to dinner.  Write them notes of encouragement.  Bake some cookies and have your kids decorate them and send them up to the team. Be there on Friday night.  Win or lose , hug  your coach and hug his players.  Pray for all of them.  It goes a long way with both your coach and your players.   Invest in them and you will see the blessings both on and off the field.

Lesson four – get to know the parents.  Listen to what’s going on in the stands. Introduce yourself to the parents. Let them see that you are there and that you are invested in the program. Let them see that you care not only about your coach but that you care about their son as well.  Get to know what’s going on at home. I learned early on that things at home affect the outcome of the field. If there’s an issue with mom or dad sometimes the player doesn’t let the coach know. We once had a kid who’s mom had breast cancer. The player was so worried about his mom that it was affecting his grades, his behavior and his time on the field. Once I found that out and shared it with my coach, we were able to minister to the player and his family in a completely different manner.

 

Lesson five – the season may be over, but football never is.  Some people think football is a few months and then it’s over.  Football is a part of your life, every day of every year.  It’s not just a season.  I HATE those plaques, napkins, signs and whatever else that say “We interrupt this marriage for football season.”  Ladies I’m here to tell you it’s a part of your marriage.  Just like you are, the Lord is, your family is, Football is a part of your marriage.  It’s there 365 days a year.  Why, you ask?  Because it’s his passion, it’s his job and it’s what he’s called to do. Also, because it's a part of who he is.  Football is there.  Embrace it. Enjoy it.  The moment you don’t is the moment it becomes a sore spot in your marriage.  I encourage you to embrace it and become a part of it.

Lesson six – take time to work on your marriage and re-engage with each other. My coach has always said that you attend football clinics to learn new tactics and new plays, you should do the same with your marriage.  I encourage you to go to a marriage retreat and invest in each other. Take a weekend away from football, away from your kids, away from the everyday tasks in life and spend quality time together in God’s word.  Take a weekend and go to a Coaches Outreach or FCA retreat.  Reconnect with each other and invest time in the WORD  and in each other.  Remember why you fell in love and remember that the Lord is the foundation of your marriage.  Spend time together in Him and let his blessing s flow.

I could go on and on and I’m sure other blogs will have more lessons but these are the foundation that have seen me and my coach through our first sixteen seasons. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for our next sixteen and beyond.

Cheering you on!
Laurel