Coaches Should Come with Warning Labels

I’m sure there are surprises with each couple that gets married but along with those basic items I think if you marry a coach he should come with a warning label.  

WARNING:  Football is a 365 day a year sport
Alright ladies, you should be fully aware of this one before you walk down the aisle. Football isn’t just for 10-15 weeks during the actual football season. Oh no!  It’s 52 weeks a year. There’s spring football, 7 on 7, summer workouts, the actual season, off-season, etc. My coach has practices, coaches meetings, parent meeting, phone calls from coaches, phone calls from players, phone calls from parents, you name it – he’s got it.  While family and faith are his ultimate priority, football is a member of our family. As long as the balance stays in place it’s all good and my coach is great at keeping that balance.

WARNING:  Coach may call plays in his sleep.
This one was a complete shock and almost scared me to death in the middle of the night. All of the sudden I hear someone yelling and repeating the same thing over and over.  As I begin to wake up I realized that my coach was calling plays.  Over the years I’ve noticed that the bigger the game and the more stress there is for the week, the more play calling I’m going to hear.

If there is a particular player or players that are having a rough week or not practicing to full potential he will also start calling them out in his sleep.  I know exactly who is not happy with and who needs to step up their game.  Several years ago there had been an extended period over a couple of weeks of him yelling in his sleep at his players.  I happened to be up at the field house as the boys were coming up from the practice field.  As they stop by to say hello I had a little huddle of my own with them.  I told them I wasn’t sure what was going on but they better step it up because I needed sleep.  The next night all was right with the world again.

WARNING:  His ankles will be ghostly white while the rest of his body is at least 12 shades darker.
I love my coach and think he is the cutest thing on earth, but yes during the summer his feet are kind of scary. Because he is out in the sun so much and wearing his athletic shoes and socks his feet never see the light of day.  When we first got married I kept threatening to put self-tanning lotion on his feet while he was sleeping.  Yeah, that thought didn’t go over too well.  At least now I’ve convinced him to wear flip flops on occasion to even out the color a bit.  They will never completely even out without the self-tanning lotion but at least we are making progress and I’ve gotten over the scariness of his Casper feet.

WARNING:  He will talk football anywhere with anyone.
The moment someone hears that my coach is a Texas High School football coach I know I’m in for a 20 minute conversation about football. It doesn’t matter if we are in a restaurant, at church or even on a cruise football will be discussed.  There’s a fascination with the game and with Friday night lights. When we first got married this frustrated me, but over the years I’ve learned to be happy with the moment. I love that people love what my husband does for a living. I love that there are questions and conversations about his role and the game. After all, how many people do you hear saying oh, you’re an accountant or oh you’re an account executive how fascinating? Nope, probably not going to happen.
  

With all of these warnings I still wouldn’t want to be married to anyone other than my coach. It’s never a dull moment and always keeps me on my toes. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

WARNING: I’m the wife of a coach and I love it!

Cheering you on!
Laurel

Take a Minute to be a Blessing

Social Media has its ups and its downs. I’m a firm believer in it’s in how you use it and what you do with the information it provides you. Over the past several weeks I’ve seen a lot of people walking through some really tough times in their lives. The only way I knew about these hurts and health issues was because of social media. Friends have posted about losing a loved one or being in the hospital was some very serious issues. My initial response was to do what many people do and just post a response back of “I’m praying for you.” That got me to wondering, how many people say “I’m praying for you” but how many actually stop and pray.  In today’s society has that phrase become a lot like “How are you?” and everyone responds back with “I’m good.”  It’s just become automatic.  It had for me. At some point it just became the automatic statement that I’d type or that would just fall out of my mouth.  A few weeks ago I realized that had to stop. As I was posting to a friend, “I’ll pray for you and your family,” I actually stopped and prayed right then and there and it only took a minute.

As the week continued I was challenged to find others ways to reach out and support my friends and our athletes. We had one athlete who was having an extended stay in the hospital. My coach and I had Tweeted with him and had been praying for him but I knew we needed to brighten his day and the day of his sweet mom who hadn’t left his side, so I sent flowers.  That phone call to the florist only took a minute but yet its impact was huge.

Every day there is someone you know that is walking through something in their life that is causing them to hurt or be discouraged. As the wife of a coach that world of hurts and discouragement expands beyond the traditional group of friends and family to those of the athletes and their families as well.  The challenge then lies in finding out who is hurting and how you can help to make a difference. I’ve found through the years that sitting in the stands in and around the parents I can hear what’s going on in the lives of the athletes off the field. I also follow them on Twitter. It’s amazing what you can learn on Twitter. When I hear or see those things that are impacting the life of the student I stop right then and pray for him/her and then will even Tweet back a word of encouragement and to let them know he/she is being prayed for.   It only takes a minute and the athlete knows that you love and care for him/her both on and off the field and the realization is made that my coach and I want to be a part of his/her life always and not just while they are in season of their particular sport.

This week I got to see that lasting connection in action. As the college kids are coming home from school they are stopping by to say hello and some are even coming “home” for dinner. My coach and I got to have family dinner with two former athletes this week.  It was fun to see how much they have grown up and was also heartwarming that they were looking to us for advice.  This was because we had invested in them while they were in high school and they understood that that investment didn’t stop on the last play of the game their senior year.  They are a part of our family forever.

Hurts don’t stop just because the season does. Our athletes become our children. It doesn’t matter if you played a certain position on the team what matters is that you were on the team and the team is family.  So I encourage you to look out for athletes and to take a minute to pray, Tweet, send a note, send flowers, or send something. Just take a minute to do what needs to be done and don’t just make the automatic statement of “I’ll pray for you.” Actually do it and the watch the difference that it makes.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

It's Almost Mother's Day

If you’ve read my blog before you know that I don’t have physical children of my own but I have an entire high school filled with athletes that I think of as my children.  After coaching for seventeen years my coach has worked with hundreds of athletes and we think of each and every one of them as if they were our own.

As Mother’s Day approaches, after all these years, my heart still aches a bit that I’m not a mother in the “traditional” sense of the word.  The ache has eased through the years, but it’s still there. There will always be moments and experiences that I will never get to have like I would if I had my own children. But, please hear me when I say that I'm not writing this to gain sympathy or for you to feel sorry for me. For years I did feel sorry for myself and that got me nowhere but deeper in my misery. Over time though, I have learned that the Lord has a special purpose for me in this world and I need to set my focus on him and that purpose. That purpose is supporting my husband as he teaches and coaches all of those athletes and knowing that what he does isn’t just a job but it’s a ministry and it’s a ministry in which I can play a major role.

A sweet friend reminded me this week that I am still a mother though, and that I have played that role to all of those teenage young men who have crossed our path these past seventeen years. I was also reminded by one of those boys this week.  He’s at a cross-road in his life and the first people he reached out to for guidance and support were me and my coach.  He’s been away at college for two years now, and yet he still knew that he could call us and that we would be there for him.  When he gets home from school next week, he’s coming to dinner so I can cook for him and so that my coach can assure him that it’s all going to be alright.  He’s even requested a special dessert that I make. This makes my heart happy. 

I’ve noticed that past few days that several of my friends have been posting life lessons and phrases that their mothers taught them and that they now teach their kids. Since I don’t get to share my motherly advice on a daily basis I thought I’d put my “Motherisms” down in writing to share with you all. 

• Always remember who you are and whose you are. 
• As long as you live, always be yourself. No other. Just you!
• Your best ability should always be flexibility.
• Never miss an opportunity to say I love you.
• Know that you are a child of the King
• A little dirt never hurt anyone
• God created our sense of humor. Don't be afraid to use it!
• Always extend grace. You have no idea the hurt someone is carrying around with them.
• Concentrating on helping others helps you forget your own hurts.
• Take time to listen to what the Lord is trying to tell you. Life is so much better when you follow his lead.

      Many of these were taught to me by my mother and others I've learned along the way. I hope they are things that you can apply to your own life or that you can pass along to those you love. Life is a grand adventure and our plans are not always God’s plans, but one lesson I keep learning over and over is that His plans are always the best plans. My daily goal is to keep striving to keep my focus where it belongs.

Cheering you on!
Laurel

He’s Never Really out of Season

After almost sixteen years of marriage you’d think I’d learn not to giggle or flat out laugh out loud when I hear a parent or friend say “Well at least he will be home now that the season is over.”  Monday night at the track banquet was the most recent time I heard this.  I just smiled and said, “Yes, spring football doesn’t start till day after tomorrow.”  Then I received the same puzzled look that I usually receive after statements like that and we changed the subject.

For coaches and their families, there is never a clear definition between seasons.  For my coach our schedule goes like this:

July – December: Football (at least we better be playing in December)
January – May: Track
May: Spring Football
June – July: 7 on 7 (while he's not actually coaching, it doesn't stop him from going and watching)

And so it goes. One stops and the other immediately picks up in its place.  With playoffs and district, area, regional and state meets there’s a chance that my coach just like many others could actually be coaching two sports at once.  That’s always a fun time in the field house and at home.  Then you add in the after season banquets and you never know which way to which sport or event you are supposed to be headed. Thank goodness we installed a family calendar in the kitchen so we can post where we are supposed to be and when you are supposed to be there.

I recall one year when my coach had to be at “his second sport” for a game the same night as the football banquet. That night we divided and sort of conquered. He went to coach and I went to the banquet – hence the sort of conquer. I wasn’t the best substitute but at least I was there to answer the question “Where’s coach?”

If you’re married to a coach you learn to understand this and learn to adapt. At our house we have the family calendar meeting on Sunday. We write everything on the board and then discuss how to attack the week. Many weeks there is a divide and conquer mentality. Take this weekend for instance. The deck in our backyard is in desperate need of repair. We have a guy coming to do an estimate and due to a scheduling conflict earlier in the week, he had to reschedule for today. So rather than join my coach at an event this morning at the school, I’m home waiting for the deck guy. When the air conditioner went out last fall, I was the one waiting for the repair guy. These are just two examples of times when my coach is at work and I arrange to be home to deal with the issue.

There will always be an issue and there will always be a season. My mother always said “Your best ability should be flexibility.” My mother has taught me more than I can imagine in life but this is one lesson that I apply on a DAILY basis being married to a coach. Some days we call and audible and adjust. The season and the game never stop and neither do we.

Cheering you on!
Laurel