Find Your Own Huddle

I learned early on that the majority of my friends couldn't relate to what it’s like to be the wife of a coach.  Unless you live it, it’s difficult to relate to the hours, the stress, and the having to talk football to everyone you meet. I have several friends that have commented on more than one occasion that they just don’t understand it and don’t get how I do it all of the time. I tell them, it’s simple. I love being the wife of a coach!

Only other coaches’ wives truly get it.  It’s important to have friends that you can talk with, laugh with, cry with and who just get you and get your life.  Wives that understand the hours, the late night phone calls about or from a player. Someone who can relate to the text messages received during church or the conversations in the grocery store. That’s why it’s important to huddle up with other wives who are living the life that you are living.

Laura Bush said it best when she said, “It is hard sometimes for women especially to steal time for friends. The demands on us from families, from jobs, from every other commitment are so strong and unrelenting. But friendship is what nurtures us.”

A few years ago the wife of our head coach and I were talking and we decided that the best way to support the wives on our staff and to nurture them and ourselves was to start a bible study. We both knew that we needed our own huddle. We needed to be present with a group of women face to face that we could be transparent with and have a safe place to open up about what was going on in our lives.

I spoke to the pastor of one of our local churches and arranged to meet at the church where he provided us childcare. This allowed us to have uninterrupted time together while our coaches were still at the field house.  The mother of a former player became our bible study leader or as we referred to Amy, our Coaches Wives Angel.  We thought it was important to have someone that could keep us on track with the lesson and someone that was no longer apart of the athletic program. 

We began to meet weekly on Monday nights.  The kids looked forward to playing together and the wives looked forward to quiet time with each other.  Our first study was the book of James.  We learned in James 5:16 to be transparent with each other and to pray for one another. Another study we did was on friendship. We learned how to encourage and support each other based on our favorite things. That some yearned for the gift of service and others loved to have a hand written note of support. Others were comforted through Dove Dark Chocolate.

Through the two years we were together we rejoiced together, mourned together, shared frustrations and hurts.  We went through struggles and major life changing decisions and we saw each other come out stronger on the other side. Some nights may have been more of a support group than actual bible study but that’s important too. As a staff we bonded in the Word and with each other.  I had prayed for years to find some friends that I could do life with and who understood me.  The Lord gave me the answer to my prayers through these women. I found my huddle.  We truly love each other.

Although our staff has changed quite a bit of the past couple of years, the bonds we made while in bible study are still holding us together.  The majority of those that were in that study have moved on to other schools or other coaching positions but our friendship remains.  We still talk and text and those of us that can, still get together on a regular basis. We are still there for each other through the good and the bad and these ladies are still my first call when I need a friend. Studies say that you become the average of the 5 people you are closest with. I’m honored to be a part of a group of ladies that all place Christ first in their life and all want the best for each other and bring out the best in each other.

I encourage you to find your huddle.  Don’t just stand on the sideline and wait for it to happen. Take that leap and ask others to join you in bible study. Talk to members in your community if childcare or a meeting place is a challenge. If you want it, God will help to open the doors to make it happen.  Just huddle up!

Cheering you on,

Laurel