Settling into a new Season

Last night was our first game of the season.  I love and I hate the first game each year.  I love the excitement of a new start. I love the anticipation that you can feel on and off the field to see what the season will bring but there always seems to be something missing at the same time.  Last night that missing piece seemed larger than in the past.

Last night started our sixth season at our current school.  For the past five years I’ve grown to know the parents as well as the players.  I could point out to you where each of the parents sat and who else sat with them.  I knew their pregame and post-game routines and where to find them if I needed them. I knew where to be for post-game family photos and who would need that special word of encouragement before and/or after the game

As I entered the stands each week I knew that as I climbed the steps to Row 27 where my assigned seats were that I’d see the Hawks, the Adkins’, the Thomas’, the list could go on and on. Season tickets at our games are a precious commodity and once you had them, you held on to them as long as you had a student at the school. It was a comfort in a way to know that I would see familiar and supportive faces as I entered the stands.  I could count on hugs and well wishes being exchanged. I knew that if plays during the game didn’t go a certain way I’d get a smile or a wink from a certain dad as a way of reassurance for him and for me.

Last night however, those seats were filled with new faces.  As I entered the stands those familiar faces were replaced with new ones. I had three new safeties taking the field and I had no idea where their parents sat and the one returning safety, his mom sits in a different section so my whole world was just a little off kilter. Those families that had become a part of my Friday night routine were now spread out all over the country preparing to watch their sons take the field as college players.

I know I’ll get to know the new people in those seats on Friday. I know that one day I will feel about them like I did last night when I was missing my friends and the comfort zone they had given me.  After a few weeks it will all become routine again but those that came before them will always hold a special place in my heart.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to turn on the television and settle in for a day of watching college football.  I have a lot of former players playing today and as the adopted mother to all those boys this proud mama is going to sit back and cheer on all her boys. Glad we have every sports channel you can get. I've got a lot of channel surfing to do today.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

Proud Mama!

This weekend I had the privilege to do something that most coach’s wives don’t get to do. I got to take one of my coach’s players to college and move him into his dorm. It was a proud moment on so many levels it’s hard to describe it all but I’ll try.

If you’ve read my blog before, you know that the Lord provided my coach and me children in the non-traditional format. He gave us football players.  They weave in and out of lives through their high school years and many have remained a part of our lives long after they graduate. With having football players as my children I never dreamed that I’d actually get to go shopping to outfit a dorm room or that I’d actually get to experience move in day, but this year I got to do both. 

A mom of one of our players gave me and my coach the special opportunity to take her son shopping for everything he needed to set up his dorm room.  Through the help of friends and family we gathered gift cards and cash and headed off for what I thought was a full day of shopping.  Turns out that with boys, college shopping goes at a much faster pace.  We had everything on our list in less than two hours.  I’ve known girls that spend that amount of time just picking out their bed linens. With our boy, I’d say pick a bedspread and he’s say “that one works” and he’d put it in the cart.  About halfway through the shopping list I had my coach and Troy both laughing at me. I was practically hyperventilating that things weren’t matching. They kept trying to explain to me that boys don’t care. I kept trying to explain to them that they were never going to make Better Homes and Dorms.  Again, they didn’t seem to care. I did, but I was out voted.  Two weeks after shopping I’m still fixated on the fact that the towels don’t match anything else that was chosen and my coach keeps telling me to “Let it go.” 

Yesterday Troy, his mom and a friend loaded up their car and another couple and I loaded up their car and we headed to college.  Again I was blessed that his mom graciously gave me the opportunity to be a part of this journey.  When we arrived we were met in the lobby by the coaching staff. I was able to meet the coach who explained to me that he was by “no means bragging, but he discovered Troy and had the honor of awarding him a scholarship.”  I laughed and told him “I’m not bragging but that Troy played for my coach.”  The coach went on to tell me that he thought we had a great football program at our school and he was excited to have players from our school come play for him.  That was a proud moment for me that others see the impact my coach is making and that they recognize what a great program we have.  I was one proud wife and one proud mama all at the same time.

I never thought I’d get to move “one of my children” into his dorm so this was exciting for me.  I laughed that it took five adults to move one student into his dorm. We went at it like a precision team and in no time he was completely moved in and even had pictures hung on the walls.  The towels that don’t match anything were even hung up and Troy was still laughing at me about them.   A special moment for me was when Troy pulled out our Christmas card from this year and started to put it on his bulletin board.  My heart was overjoyed that he had chosen to bring that with him.  It was even more special when I pulled out a framed copy of that photo for him and he hugged me and immediately set it by his bedside.  Then his sweet mom took the Christmas card home to put up back at their home.

Just as we finished moving him in, we looked out the window and there was a spectacular rainbow in view.  I knew it was God’s way of saying to me that He had kept his promise to me. He had given me the desires of my heart like it says in Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I delight in Him and he gave me children.  I delight in Him and He provided me the opportunity to move my boy to college.  

As we said our goodbye we hugged and each whispered “I love you” to each other.  I held it together and didn’t cry but I can assure you there are tears running down my face as I’m writing this. I love to see how the Lord continually works in my life and provides me with those unspoken desires of my heart. 

I am truly blessed to be the wife of a coach!

Cheering you on!
Laurel

Bring on Football Season!

Seems like it was just yesterday my Coach was reintroducing himself to me and sliding back into the routine of home.  Now I’ve blinked and summer is over and he’s on his way back to football.  The countdown to kickoff is on!  Some wives say goodbye to their husbands during this time and "mourn their loss."  They think of themselves as "football widows."  That's not the case in our house.  I'm clearly still married and he's still my husband.  He hasn't died, he's just focused; focused on his job, focused on his passion for coaching, focused on his boys and focused on the goal of winning that state title.  When he is home, there is still that focus, but he's also able to focus on me - I just have to know for a while I share the focus area with something else.  

This week meetings and camps begin. My coach is back to the hours of well before sun up to after sundown. I’m back to being Ms. Independent and I’m ok with that. Now before you go jumping to conclusions about my relationship with my coach, hear me out on this.  I’m ok with it for several reasons. 

1.       We make a great team.  We’ve been married for 16 years and each of those years has involved football. The first couple of years we were writing our own playbook and learning to maneuver the ins and outs of football season and its time demands. We figured out dinners, laundry and who was responsible for what. Although the school has changed over the years, our playbook has remained the same.  We have a routine and a schedule and we go with it.  Yes, every once in a while we have to call an audible and that’s where #2 comes into play.

2.      He’s empowered me to call an audible.  Sometimes a decision has to be made and he’s not around to make it.  Seems like every season something major in the house breaks.  During season I’ve had to fix the air conditioner, the roof, the washer and the dryer, the garage door, etc. You name it; I’ve probably had to have it fixed. I let him know the issue, show him my plan of action (and how much it’s going to cost) and then I go for it.

3.      It gives me a chance to focus on my job. I work for Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Fall is a busy time for us as we prepare for October and Breast Cancer Awareness Month. In the summer I feel like my focus is torn between my job, my Coach and our home.(Not because of any pressure from my coach but from the pressure I put on myself to do everything and do it well  - but that’s a totally different blog). With him being at the field house all day and a good majority of the night, I’m more at ease to stay late and work and then head home and focus on other things.  Except for Fridays – then I totally lose focus by 3pm and go into full on coach’s wife mode.

4.      Outside of work I have time to focus on other things that make me happy.  Fall seems to be the time of year that I go into volunteer mode.  I’m constantly volunteering for something at our church or for some kind of Susan G. Komen event.  I also get to focus on my obsession with Pinterest.  One of the other coach’s wives and I pick a project or two or three or four during the season and spend our Saturday’s perfecting our latest project.  It’s a great outlet and keeps us busy while our coaches are at work.

I’ve learned throughout the years that it’s ok for him to go off to football and it’s ok for me to show my independent side a little too.  After all, I was a fully functioning adult before we met and I can still be that way sixteen years into this.  Together we make a great team.   Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”    We spend time during the off season and summer sharpening each other and then we are both ready for football season.

Praying that have spent your summer sharpening and are ready for the season ahead.  Remember there are other wives of coaches out there to support you and to lean on for help.  You’re not in this alone. So say it with me “Bring on football season!”

Cheering you on!
Laurel

God's Plan is ALWAYS Greater Than Our Own

Many people have asked or wondered why we don't have kids. Well God has the perfect plan for us! As hard as it is for us to let go of our plans, we must because God's plans are so much bigger and better than ours!

In 2006 we were asked by our pastor to share our story in front of our church. This was the first time that many of our friends and family learned of our struggles.  For some reason infertility is only spoken of in whispers.  Since this was the first time we actually spoke out loud about it and in front of several thousand people, I was a bit timid in my presentation.  Please know that now I'm much more confident in my words and actions and am confident that the Lord is using us in ways that we never could have imagined. (Plus my hair is so much cuter now - I don't know what I was thinking then.)

I hope you are blessed by our story.  We certainly have been!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQEPv-51k7Y&feature=share

Hello, My Name is Coach and I’m Your Husband

“Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Coach and for the summer I’ll be home and playing the role of your husband.”   Of course it doesn’t go exactly like that but there have been times when a thought like that has crossed my mind as that final bell rings for summer vacation.  My coach is home and now I need to adjust my weekly and daily routines to fit him into the flow of daily life at our house. You see, the summer routine here isn’t much different than the school year routine. I don’t teach school so there’s no summer off for me.  For my coach, it’s like merging into a steady flow of traffic on a crazy highway.

Every morning I’m still getting up and headed out the door to work. My coach is great and gets up with me. I think he knows it’s in his best interest. I’m not what you’d call a good sport about the fact that he’s home and I’m headed out the door to work. (I understand that I choose not to go into education but trust me, that decision was in the best interest of all students everywhere and in the best interest of my sanity.) I’m at the office for eight hours a day and then still run my errands, figure out what’s for dinner and continue on with my normal routine. The only change for me is that I’m not stopping by the field to watch a game or practice.

I love summer in that fact that I’ve stored up my “honey do” list for months and have these few weeks to hand over my list and see if it all magically gets done. I do understand however that there is still 7 on 7, there are still camps to be run and yes, there’s still Coaching School in July but between all of that there are a few moments when I actually have a husband at home and have what people outside of coaching call “a normal life.”   We have dinner together more than two nights a week. The amount of laundry goes down immensely since he’s not changing four times a day between athletics and teaching and back again. The neighbors figure out my husband isn’t just a figment of my imagination. We are able to schedule dinners with friends and family more than 24 hours in advance. It’s a whole new world or should I say a whole different world. It’s different because it’s just for a few weeks and then we go back to “our normal.” 

What helps us ease into summer normal is the fact that we attend Coaches Outreach every year. We go the first full weekend he’s out of the summer. Coaches Outreach holds marriage retreats each summer for coaches and their spouses.  It’s a great time to reconnect and remember that there is life outside of sports and there’s a life together. My coach put it really well when he once told a friend, “You go to clinics to work on your coaching skills and you should go to Coaches Outreach to work on your marriage skills.”  So our first stop as he begins merging on to the highway of home is to stop and refuel and read the marriage roadmap. Ok – that’s a bit corny but it works for what I’m trying to say.

Summer is fabulous and time with my coach is awesome and watching things get checked off that list is great, but check back with me in July.  I’ll be ready for Coaching School and for him to head back to practice and get back to “our normal.”  After all in Texas it’s all about football and for me, it’s all about being the wife of the coach.

Cheering you on!
Laurel

Coaches Should Come with Warning Labels

I’m sure there are surprises with each couple that gets married but along with those basic items I think if you marry a coach he should come with a warning label.  

WARNING:  Football is a 365 day a year sport
Alright ladies, you should be fully aware of this one before you walk down the aisle. Football isn’t just for 10-15 weeks during the actual football season. Oh no!  It’s 52 weeks a year. There’s spring football, 7 on 7, summer workouts, the actual season, off-season, etc. My coach has practices, coaches meetings, parent meeting, phone calls from coaches, phone calls from players, phone calls from parents, you name it – he’s got it.  While family and faith are his ultimate priority, football is a member of our family. As long as the balance stays in place it’s all good and my coach is great at keeping that balance.

WARNING:  Coach may call plays in his sleep.
This one was a complete shock and almost scared me to death in the middle of the night. All of the sudden I hear someone yelling and repeating the same thing over and over.  As I begin to wake up I realized that my coach was calling plays.  Over the years I’ve noticed that the bigger the game and the more stress there is for the week, the more play calling I’m going to hear.

If there is a particular player or players that are having a rough week or not practicing to full potential he will also start calling them out in his sleep.  I know exactly who is not happy with and who needs to step up their game.  Several years ago there had been an extended period over a couple of weeks of him yelling in his sleep at his players.  I happened to be up at the field house as the boys were coming up from the practice field.  As they stop by to say hello I had a little huddle of my own with them.  I told them I wasn’t sure what was going on but they better step it up because I needed sleep.  The next night all was right with the world again.

WARNING:  His ankles will be ghostly white while the rest of his body is at least 12 shades darker.
I love my coach and think he is the cutest thing on earth, but yes during the summer his feet are kind of scary. Because he is out in the sun so much and wearing his athletic shoes and socks his feet never see the light of day.  When we first got married I kept threatening to put self-tanning lotion on his feet while he was sleeping.  Yeah, that thought didn’t go over too well.  At least now I’ve convinced him to wear flip flops on occasion to even out the color a bit.  They will never completely even out without the self-tanning lotion but at least we are making progress and I’ve gotten over the scariness of his Casper feet.

WARNING:  He will talk football anywhere with anyone.
The moment someone hears that my coach is a Texas High School football coach I know I’m in for a 20 minute conversation about football. It doesn’t matter if we are in a restaurant, at church or even on a cruise football will be discussed.  There’s a fascination with the game and with Friday night lights. When we first got married this frustrated me, but over the years I’ve learned to be happy with the moment. I love that people love what my husband does for a living. I love that there are questions and conversations about his role and the game. After all, how many people do you hear saying oh, you’re an accountant or oh you’re an account executive how fascinating? Nope, probably not going to happen.
  

With all of these warnings I still wouldn’t want to be married to anyone other than my coach. It’s never a dull moment and always keeps me on my toes. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

WARNING: I’m the wife of a coach and I love it!

Cheering you on!
Laurel

Take a Minute to be a Blessing

Social Media has its ups and its downs. I’m a firm believer in it’s in how you use it and what you do with the information it provides you. Over the past several weeks I’ve seen a lot of people walking through some really tough times in their lives. The only way I knew about these hurts and health issues was because of social media. Friends have posted about losing a loved one or being in the hospital was some very serious issues. My initial response was to do what many people do and just post a response back of “I’m praying for you.” That got me to wondering, how many people say “I’m praying for you” but how many actually stop and pray.  In today’s society has that phrase become a lot like “How are you?” and everyone responds back with “I’m good.”  It’s just become automatic.  It had for me. At some point it just became the automatic statement that I’d type or that would just fall out of my mouth.  A few weeks ago I realized that had to stop. As I was posting to a friend, “I’ll pray for you and your family,” I actually stopped and prayed right then and there and it only took a minute.

As the week continued I was challenged to find others ways to reach out and support my friends and our athletes. We had one athlete who was having an extended stay in the hospital. My coach and I had Tweeted with him and had been praying for him but I knew we needed to brighten his day and the day of his sweet mom who hadn’t left his side, so I sent flowers.  That phone call to the florist only took a minute but yet its impact was huge.

Every day there is someone you know that is walking through something in their life that is causing them to hurt or be discouraged. As the wife of a coach that world of hurts and discouragement expands beyond the traditional group of friends and family to those of the athletes and their families as well.  The challenge then lies in finding out who is hurting and how you can help to make a difference. I’ve found through the years that sitting in the stands in and around the parents I can hear what’s going on in the lives of the athletes off the field. I also follow them on Twitter. It’s amazing what you can learn on Twitter. When I hear or see those things that are impacting the life of the student I stop right then and pray for him/her and then will even Tweet back a word of encouragement and to let them know he/she is being prayed for.   It only takes a minute and the athlete knows that you love and care for him/her both on and off the field and the realization is made that my coach and I want to be a part of his/her life always and not just while they are in season of their particular sport.

This week I got to see that lasting connection in action. As the college kids are coming home from school they are stopping by to say hello and some are even coming “home” for dinner. My coach and I got to have family dinner with two former athletes this week.  It was fun to see how much they have grown up and was also heartwarming that they were looking to us for advice.  This was because we had invested in them while they were in high school and they understood that that investment didn’t stop on the last play of the game their senior year.  They are a part of our family forever.

Hurts don’t stop just because the season does. Our athletes become our children. It doesn’t matter if you played a certain position on the team what matters is that you were on the team and the team is family.  So I encourage you to look out for athletes and to take a minute to pray, Tweet, send a note, send flowers, or send something. Just take a minute to do what needs to be done and don’t just make the automatic statement of “I’ll pray for you.” Actually do it and the watch the difference that it makes.

Cheering you on,
Laurel