I Need a Date!

When we got married we received seven picnic baskets as wedding presents.  All came with the well intentioned but oblivious comment of “We thought you could enjoy a picnic with each other before the game.”  Most of those picnic baskets are currently arranged in the corner of my kitchen and hold a variety of items including my tools.  Never once in fifteen years has one actually been used for a picnic.

Unless you live it, you don’t get it.  I didn't have to watch the show Friday Night Lights. I live it. Football is 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the majority of the year.  It’s not just Friday nights and it’s not just between kickoff and when the clock runs out. My coach is gone from the house before the sun comes up and he’s home long after it’s gone down.  Every season there are days that we don’t actually see each other.  If I didn't get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom I wouldn't have even seen his body in the bed.

In the past my job has had me traveling on the weekends.  I could attend the game on Friday night and then fly out Saturday morning and then return Sunday night. The joke at our house was that I could be gone and back before my coach even noticed that I wasn't at home.  He said he noticed but he did have to call one time and ask where exactly I was in the world. 

There used to be a respite at home, but now that he can watch game film on his iPad and even his iPhone he may be home, but he’s still working.  There are times that it seems that even when my coach is present in body at home, he’s absent in mind. Then there are the endless texts and tweets from players and other coaches. It seems as if he’s never truly away from work anymore.  

Now please don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I’m merely laying out the facts.  I knew what I was getting into when we got married.  I saw the hours that he kept and I still signed up for the part of being the wife of a coach. I love being the wife of coach and wouldn't trade it for the world.  What I am saying though is – I need a date. I need some one on one uninterrupted time with my coach.

The regular season is more than half way over.  The possibility of playoffs is on the horizon.  The goal at our house, as with most coaches’ families, is to be playing for the state championship on December 21. So with all that in mind, I need a date.  

I just want a date where the two of us sit can just enjoy each other for a few hours.  With the pressures of the season and all the craziness that is life, we need to take a moment to stop and unplug from everything around us. We need to sit and talk and laugh and just decompress a little from the stress that is football season. We need to take a moment to refocus our priorities and get set to finish the season.

 As much as I would like to think that my coach can read my mind and instinctively know my every want and need, he can’t and he doesn’t.  To avoid self-inflicted frustration on my part, I have to straight up tell him what’s going on in my head.  He’s busy game planning for next week’s opponent. He doesn’t have time to stop and wonder what’s going on in my head. With his schedule, he doesn’t have time to stop and wonder what’s going on inside his own head.  I’m the one that has decided that I need a date, so I’ve taken matters into my own hands.  I called and asked my coach if we could have a real honest to goodness date.  I told him that I want a date that involves no iPads, no iPhones, no texting, no tweeting kind of date.  (Of course with the exception of his head coach.  I’m not unrealistic enough to think that he can just ignore his boss for the evening. )

My coach agreed that it was time for a real date and he even agreed to the no technology request.  I did concede to let him respond to any text or call from his head coach – but only his head coach.  He gets the importance of stopping and getting off the crazy train that is life for a few hours and just spending time one on one with me.  He needs to take a break from coach mode and just be a husband who is in the moment with me. 

Our date tonight doesn’t have to be at some really nice or expensive restaurant. I prefer though that it not be at the Quick Trip as my coach is always threatening.  It doesn’t have to be some super romantic getaway or full of elaborate details.  It doesn’t need to involve days of planning or a major budget. It can be as simple as going out to eat. All that’s important on our date is that we are together, enjoying each other’s company and stopping to refocus on each other as we head to finish the season strong.

It’s the morning of our date and I’m still not sure what the plans are for the evening. What I can tell you is that I’m excited for some on one time with my coach and I know he’s excited too. If you’re like me and in desperate need of date, I encourage you to call your coach and ask him out and see what happens.  

I’m off to plan our date now. 

Cheering you on,
Laurel

Losing Jacob

Throughout the past couple of months I've opened up the door to my life and shared some deep parts of my heart with you.  Today’s post is one that I've been working on for weeks because I cry every time I begin writing and because I want to make sure I get it just right. By now you know that I consider our players to be our children. Well, today I’m writing about the loss of one of my children.

October 14 will mark the one year anniversary of losing Jacob.  It was his senior year and he had been playing on the varsity level since he was a freshman.  Along with the other safeties he ate dinner at my house. Sat on my couch and laughed and talked with us. You’ll see him on our Christmas cards and in every picture we ever took together, he was always standing right next to me. Coaches and players love each other, but Jacob and my coach had a bond and a love that was deeper than most.  There was something very special there.

The thing about Jacob was that everyone seemed to have a special bond with him.  He had an infectious smile and could make everyone laugh. Everyone seemed drawn to him. He had a quite spirit and he put everyone at ease. It’s amazing how many people considered him their best friend. It’s difficult to be a good friend to so many but Jacob was capable of just that.  If you were in a room with him, you knew you had his undivided attention and that he genuinely cared for you.  He may have been 17 in earthly years  and still a goofy teenage boy in many ways, but he had a much older spirit and was wise beyond his years when it came to his faith. 

Jacob was bolder in his faith than most teenagers I've known.  Everyone knew exactly where he stood.  He was a believer and was saved by the grace of our Lord Jesus.  He let everyone know it.  The week before the accident he was sitting on my couch and we were discussing how much we loved the church we both attended.  He was always quick to share his faith with those he met. He wanted to make sure everyone knew that Christ had died for them and that there was eternal life for those who believed.

Jacob and several other boys from our football team were celebrating a great win and the birthday of one of the boys at the lake that Sunday afternoon.  Several of them had been jumping off a cliff into the lake and Jacob and Gavin decided they wanted to jump. The other boys yelled at them to come back for life jackets. But the two boys ignored them. Jacob told Gavin as they climbed the 60-foot cliff, “If God wants to take me, he’ll take me.” As they jumped neither of them had any idea what was to come or how true that statement would turn out to be. The boys say that Jacob surfaced for just a moment and then went back under.  One of the boys quickly dialed 911 as a couple of others jumped in to look for him. 

I’ll always remember that Sunday afternoon and what I was doing when the phone rang.  My coach called and knew immediately that something was terribly wrong.  He rarely calls while he’s at the field house and when he does, I know he needs something or that there's a problem.  His voice was shaking and he said, “There’s been an accident with some of the boys.  Laurel, it’s Jacob.” His voice cracked and my heart seemed to just stop.  I was paralyzed and didn't know what to do so I began praying.  After a while I asked my neighbor to drive me up to the field house.  I found the coaches praying while the head coach and a couple of the parents headed to the lake.

Word was spreading fast throughout the town and we were seeing that the kids all wanted to be together to pray and to hope for Jacob’s recovery.  We called every youth minister in town and word began to spread to meet at the football field.  We looked up and they began to come. Two, three, four at a time and then there were hundreds of teenagers, parents, ministers, coaches and wives standing on the field.  We were crying, praying, holding each other and trying to explain why bad things happen to those we love. It’s one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I was trying to hold it together for those kids while my heart was broken inside.  I had just lost one of my children and they had lost a friend.

Most of that week is a blur.  While we were waiting for the recovery crews to find Jacob our school experienced another loss. Another student who was also a senior at the school took his own life.  Our kids and community were rocked.  We were already walking through tough territory and now our grief was taken to another level. There were lots of conversations that week about why God allows things to happen and why so many hard things seem to happen at once.  Our coaches, coaches’ wives, teachers, and ministers were able to share our faith with quite a few of the kids that week.  Many are believers and we walked with them as their faith grew stronger and deeper during this dark time.

Friday was coming and they still hadn't found Jacob.  We were praying that they would find him before the game so that the team could refocus.  To many of you that might sound trite, but Jacob would have wanted it that way.  He was one of the team captains and always wanted his team to focus.  Because he was always so quick to share his faith we all knew that he was now in Heaven praising his Lord and Savior. So knowing that, he would have wanted the team to take the field and honor the captain and his faith by playing to the best of their ability.

Jacob was recovered at 9:21 pm or, in military time, 21:21 on Thursday night. What’s special about that is Jacob wore number 21. Now the team could play knowing that their captain and brother had been found.  

Entering the stadium that night you could feel something in the air and we knew it would be a night that we would remember for the rest of our lives.  The opposing team and their fans were such gracious hosts and reached out to us in many ways.  Fans stopped and prayed for us and with us. They hung signs of support and gave us hugs after the game. It was an honor to be a part of TX High School Football that night.

Now came the hardest part. It was time to say goodbye to Jacob.  On Monday afternoon we entered our church where we worshiped every Sunday and where Jacob and his family worshiped. Over two thousand people came to say goodbye and to honor and celebrate Jacob. It was a celebration. We celebrated his life and his faith and we knew it was okay to say goodbye because he was standing in Heaven praising his Savior.  There were more moments of laughter than there were tears and there were even more moments when we just stood and praised our Lord.  That’s exactly how Jacob would have wanted it.

We love him and miss him and there’s still not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and his goofy smile.  As the wife of a coach it’s one of the hardest journeys but strangely I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I was reminded of many lessons along the way. I was reminded to be bold in my faith. I was reminded that as a believer we can make it through even the toughest of times because the Lord is carrying us through the pain. I was also reminded that because my coach and I have such a deep relationship with our kids we know where they stand spiritually and they know exactly where we stand and that makes a huge difference.

“Jobs, sports, and people will fail you. God will not. He is a righteous savior that has not, and will never fail you.”  Tweeted by Jacob on September 23, 2012.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

Strive to be Mrs. 31 not Wonder Woman

Proverbs 31 is one of my favorite passages in scripture.  It’s about a woman and this woman can do it all.  She cooks, she cleans, she sews, she works, she shops, she provides for her family, she has help doing it all and her husband praises her for it all. Just seeing that list makes me exhausted.  There are 22 verses dedicated to what she does for her family.  There are only 24 hours in the day so how on earth does this woman get it all done?  In today’s society I think many of us would refer to her not so much as Mrs. 31 but as Wonder Woman.

Mrs. 31 is a very busy lady and there always seems to be time in her day to make it all happen. We see her as Wonder Woman feel that if we don’t aim for perfection and execute it perfectly then we are failures.  That’s simply not the case.  I remember the night that I learned that Mrs. 31 wasn't an actual woman and that she is just the ideal of what we want to strive to become. I was sitting in a woman’s bible study at my church and you could literally hear the sighs of relief from every woman in the room.  I think just about every woman had walked in the room that night thinking they were going to hear how they were failing in life because they weren't the perfect woman and living up to the expectations of being Wonder Woman in their homes.   We all had been using those verses as a checklist of items to complete to be the ultimate woman (our version of Wonder Woman) rather than seeing the whole picture and who Mrs. 31 actually was and is. 

Commentaries will tell you that she is the dream wife and difficult to find, but not impossible. What it all boils down to is that Mrs. 31 was a woman of wisdom and that all that is mentioned in verses 10-31 is how she applied that wisdom.  I can’t become Wonder Woman. I’m simply not wired like that and I don’t know many women who actually are.  I do know that I can pray for and learn to apply wisdom in my day to day life.

I think as the wife of a coach and especially during the season there’s a lot about the Proverbs 31 woman that I can apply to my own life. I love verse 11 where “her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Those are my marching orders for the season.  My husband is off and engaged in the battle of football season and I’m home to man the fort. I can strive to be like Mrs. 31 and take care of all of the day to day details of the home and family.  I try to make a plan and work the plan.  I love lists so I have my daily list of chores and errands that I can fit around my job and the football schedule.  I attempt to meal plan for the week and head to the grocery store on Sunday afternoon or Saturday morning.  There’s the endless basket of laundry that has to be done. The list goes on and one and I’m sure yours does as well.

Each season comes with the demands of the day to day activities that I must deal with by myself while my coach is focused elsewhere and those are fine and come with the territory. I don’t know why, but it seems as if every season there is one major disaster at our house.  This is when I wonder how exactly my house and car know it’s football season. The garage door fell off its tracks as I was backing out of the drive way to the game. The water heater has needed replacing. The air conditioning system for the house completely died.  The washer and dryer died within days of each other. The one time I parked my car in the driveway for the night a tree fell on it. You name it, I've dealt with it.  I call and give my coach a heads up that the budget is about to take a hit but I assure him I've gotten several bids and found the best solution for the issue.  It needed to be dealt with and I dealt. For that moment in time, I am Mrs. 31. My awesome coach, just like Mr. 31 in Proverbs praises me for dealing with it and we move on to the next issue at hand.

My coach knows how much I love Mrs. 31.  Verses 13, 14 and 16 are where she shops.  I LOVE shopping.  I often tease him that shopping is my spiritual gift.  He quickly reminds me that spiritual gifts are in the New Testament and that this is just one of Mrs. 31’s many qualities. Verses 17 and 18 are where she works for a living.  I enjoy going to work.  Verse 15 is where my coach and I will both tell you I fail miserably.  “She gets up while it is still night.” Anyone who knows me well will tell you that’s a big one for me to overcome. I’m not a morning person. Never have been and most likely never will be.  I also don’t sew and I don’t do math.  Therefore I don’t watch the affairs of the household as they are mentioned in verse 27.

Now I’m not letting myself off the hook completely on those things where I fall short and I’m not just giving up.  I think it’s important to strive to do all of these things for my family and there are some definite qualities and virtues that I need to do some major work on in my life. I want to be Mrs. 31 and become the woman that my husband praises and that my children (football boys included) call blessed. But what I know now is that I’m striving to be a woman of wisdom and not just Wonder Woman. It’s about character and not just a checklist.

I want to be as many of these qualities and virtues that I can possibly be, but now I know that if the laundry doesn't get folded and put away, it’s okay.  If I have to drive through to pick up dinner, life isn't going to come to a complete halt. Life happens and unplanned things get in the way.  Something comes up a work, a household item breaks and the day and plans get derailed.  I need to remember to do what I can and then strive for the rest but that doesn't mean striving to the point of exhaustion and sending my blood pressure through the roof.  The key is stop. Take a deep breath.  Take a moment to apply a little wisdom to the situation and then work the new plan that may or may not include cooking, cleaning, sewing, shopping, and working.  Take one step at a time and remember tomorrow is another day and a new chance to be Mrs. 31.

Cheering you on,

Laurel

Learning from Defeat

Texas High School Football.  Some will say it doesn't get any bigger than that. Others will tell you it’s not a sport it’s a religion. Most anyone will tell you though it’s all about winning.  I’m not going to tell you that winning isn't important. It is. No doubt about it. But, what I will tell you is that winning only teaches half of the lessons that should be taught to our athletes.

After sixteen years of coaching, my coach and I have experienced winning seasons and losing seasons.  We have blessed to be a part of some great communities during our coaching years and the majority of our seasons have been winning seasons. Even during those winning seasons most have come with a loss or two along the way.  All sorts of books have been written and speeches have been given about winning. Sometimes though,  you need to focus on the losing.

There are many correlations to real life that can be applied to a losing season or even losing one game. We don’t win everything we do or try in life and I think that kids today think that they can and should win everything.  In little league sports everyone seems to get a trophy, we don’t always keep score and kids get used to hearing “everyone is a winner.”  Well, then high school hits and all of the sudden, everyone isn’t a winner.  Games are won and games are lost. Not everyone goes to the playoffs and not everyone is handed a trophy.  That’s part of the game of life and that’s when it’s important to step in and teach the grace and dignity of losing.  It’s best to help teach our athletes that now before they hit college and the real world and don’t know how to react when the game plan of life doesn’t turn out like they had planned.

The year that we were going into our final game of the season and we were 0-9 was a great year to teach about losing with grace. It was also a time to teach determination and how not to quit in any situation.  Through nine long weeks the coaches worked with kids to teach that to never stop fighting and to always play to the absolute best of their ability.  They taught them that life isn’t always so easy and that trophies aren’t just going to be handed out to everyone. They were doing amazing things with those kids and the work paid off.  The boys never quit and they never gave up and they won their last game of the season. To some that might seem small but to them, it was like winning the state championship. They learned to work and never give up in order to achieve what they wanted the most. They wanted a victory and they got it. To them it seemed like they had one the state championship.

This is another life lesson that sports can teach you even if you’re in the stands and not on the field. We all strive for that promotion or raise or win at whatever we are doing. Not everything is always going to go according to that plan either.  Sometimes the game plan has to shift a little. We have to adapt to the things going on around us and sometimes come up with a new plan all together.  We need to take that time out so to speak and reevaluate the goal.  OK- that’s a whole lot of sports metaphors in one paragraph, but I’m the wife of a coach and I know that sports can teach you things off the field as well as on the field.
 

We can also learn these same lessons in scripture. Jeremiah 29:11-13 says “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

He’s got a game plan for us. When life doesn't give us what we want or we find ourselves at a loss, we need to stop and seek Him with all of our heart and He will show us His game plan for our lives.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

They are more than athletes - They are my children

Sometimes the plans that we have for ourselves are not necessarily the plans that the Lord has for us. Just like every little girl growing up I assumed that I would grow up, get married and have children of my own. Step one - I grew up. Step two - I met and married the man of my dreams. Step three - here's where my plan changed and the Lord stepped in with His plan. 

My coach and I were on the right track. The game plan was set. We were married; both had great jobs and were ready to start a family.  So, we started trying and found out it's not always as easy as we think. After several miscarriages, a million doctor visits, and a several years of treatments, etc. all to no avail we decided it was time to step back and re-evaluate the game plan.  A sweet friend suggested that we spend 40 days in prayer and truly search our hearts and listen to what the Lord had to say about our next steps. Many options were on the table including more treatments, adoption and whatever else the Lord might call us to do.  So we began praying. We began praying for wisdom and clear answers that would direct us to what to do next. Psalm 113:9 became my prayer. "He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord.” I was anxious to see how the Lord would answer our prayers.

We didn't share with anyone that we were praying and searching for answers, but the answers starting coming almost immediately.  Throughout the 40 days we were approached on at least 10 different occasions from kids who were speaking answers to us without even knowing what they were doing.  Our doorbell rang one night and in walked a player who just needed to talk.  He said he knew he could stop by because he wouldn't be disturbing bed time with the little ones. Another player said that he knew if anything were to go wrong in the middle of the night that we could always be there for him and if he called he wouldn't wake up the baby.  Another shared that he could tell us things he couldn't or wouldn't share with his own parents. Another student said that we cared for her in ways her own parents didn't. Another said she knew I would always listen and could help her see that her mom truly loved her and wasn't just spying on her. The list goes on and on.  There was our answer!  We had children. God has given us children. They just all happen to be teenagers and play sports but they are OUR children. The answer had been in front of us the entire time. We just weren't seeing it because we had been so focused on our game plan and what we assumed was the right plan.  Our plan was for one, two or maybe even three children. We found that God’s plan was bigger. It involved hundreds of children.

Each year we take “family photos” with our boys at media day. After the games one of the boys will always gather “his brothers” and we take more family photos.  These photos are on our Christmas card every year. They are also found on my desk at work and all around our house.  We currently have one player that asks for pictures with his parents and “his other parents” after each game. We've even had people ask which parents are his actual parents. We are all one family.

These children may not be physically mine, but they are mine spiritually. The Lord placed me in the role of being the wife of a coach and in the lives of these athletes for a specific reason. I share in their joys and in their heartbreaks. I get to cheer them on each time they take the field or court. My coach and I go to prom every year and enjoy graduation parties, birthday parties, etc. We sit beside them in church. On Mother’s Day, I am wished Happy Mother’s Day by these precious athletes.  I am joyous when I watch as they come to know the Lord or for others grow in their faith. I am joyous when they go off to college and come back to see us. I love when they invite us to weddings and when I am introduced to their wives and children. Most importantly, I get to share with them scriptures that my parents shared with me when they are hurting or confused. I’m there to help them walk through the pains of growing up and through heartbreaks and sorrows. Just like Psalm 113:9 promises, I am the joyous mother of children.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  The Lord’s plans are always better than our plans.  We just have to stop and listen and sometimes revise our game plan along the way.

Step 1 – I am grown. Step 2: I am married to my Coach who is the man of my dreams. The man the Lord chose for me. Step 3 REVISED: I am a mother. I’m not just the wife of the coach. These are my children and I love each and every one of them as if they were my own because they are mine. Praise the Lord.

Cheering you on,

Laurel

A Little Note Changes Everything

A few years ago the wife of our head coach suggested that we all write notes to our husband's position players. When we began, we had no idea the impact that we would be having on the lives of those boys. We also didn't realize the impact it would have on us as well. Several of the boys had told me thank you but I thought they were just being polite.  Turns out it goes beyond the polite thank you.They really do care about the note and what is said in each one of them.

When others hear that I write notes to the boys the first question I get is, "What do you say?"  Usually I say what's on my heart.  I pray for these players every day and I can always find a Bible verse or quote that's perfect for the week. I know what's going on in their lives and their joys and frustrations on and off  the field because I hear from my coach about them.  They come to "family dinner" at our house. I follow them on Twitter.(I learn a lot about them on Twitter.)  Then I sit down and write their note.  The contents are between me and each player.  My coach doesn't read them.He just delivers them to their locker each week. He says that's my personal gift to each of his players.

We have several single coaches on our staff so each year the wives pick one of those coaches and write notes to his players as well as the players of our husband.  Sometimes these notes are a little more difficult to write as I don't know those boys as well, but trust me when I say those notes are just as powerful as the ones to "my boys."

You may be wondering how I know how powerful these notes are to them. I know through conversations with them and sometimes even with their parents.  Teenage boys aren't always the best at sharing with their parents but I'm amazed at how many actually take the notes home and show them to their moms. One mom asked to meet me at the football game one night.  She wanted to hug me and tell me thank you for writing her son.  She told me "he's not a starter and may not even see the field, but the note made him feel that someone cared about him and was cheering for him."  Another mom told be about how she was cleaning her son's room and when she picked up his Bible several of the notes fell out. She told me he kept my notes and reread them when he needed some encouragement. At the doctor's office this week the receptionist told me I had written her son two years ago and that when he left for college he made sure those notes were kept in a safe place.She thanked me for taking the time to write him and told me that I had an impact on his life.

Last year was a difficult year for our team and the notes took on an even greater meaning for me and my boys.  They were part therapy, part encouragement, and in many ways I think they held us together as we were walking through something as a team and a family that many teams never have to face.  When one of the boys stopped me in the hall of the field house hugged me tight and said,  "Please don't stop with the notes.They are what are getting me though sometimes." I realized right then I could never stop with the notes. I knew right then the Lord as working through me with those notes and that they were making an impact for Him.

These stories are here because I took half an hour each week and wrote a small note of encouragement. I had no idea they actually kept the notes. I thought they read them and then tossed them aside, but through the years I've learned that's not the case.  Those notes are kept and cherished.  Just like I cherish each of those players.

The power of the written word is amazing.  I think note writing and hand written notes are a dying art, but I also think that's what makes the note more valuable. Some weeks my notes are longer than others. Some weeks the notes are all very similar in nature. But, each week I try to send a note or at least every other week.  I'm by no means perfect in this and well some times you just have to punt. Last week was crazy and all the boys got was a Tweet but I figured a Tweet was better than nothing.  They all agreed. They knew I was cheering for them and they knew I was there to encourage them.

As the wife of a coach, I am there to be that encouragement. I'm there to be that quiet voice to come alongside my coach and remind those young men it's not all about football. It's letting them know that we love them and we want to see them succeed and become that man the Lord wants them to become.My coach gets to do that at every practice and every game. I get to do that through my notes.So I encourage you to take up note writing and see how your world changes.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

Love Your Neighbor AND Your Football Fan As Yourself

Many of us know the verses in Matthew 12:30-31 “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

For me, I do love the Lord with all my heart and that’s the easy part.  It’s the loving your neighbor as yourself part that is sometimes rather difficult.  Now before you judge me too quickly, remember that the neighbor isn't just your literal neighbor next door. (I DO love those neighbors.)  I’m thinking in the broader sense of the term – like the football fan.  They too are my neighbors both in the stands and in the community. These are the people that are watching me to see how I react to how well things are going or not going on the field. These are the people that need to see Jesus in my every word, every action and every reaction. The majority are great fans and very supportive of the coaching staff but every school has a few fans that are let’s just say – a little more difficult than the rest. It’s those fans that I’m writing about today.

Sometimes sitting in the stands and listening to all those fans who think they can do my husband’s job can be rather difficult.  There is always some point during the season that I just want to turn around and say, “Well, if your son would actually run the play my husband called, maybe things would have turned out differently.” Thing is, I can’t say that and I really shouldn’t say that.  It’s in these times that I need to take a deep breath and remember what the Lord called me to do – LOVE my neighbor.  Difficult as it may be – I’m supposed to LOVE in all situations, not just when the game is going well. Not just when we have a winning record.  ALL times.  

Win or lose, good times or bad times, on Friday nights we all arrive at the stadium for one common purpose.  We want to support our team.  We want to support our boys.  We want to cheer them on to victory.  Some people are just more passionate in how they express their support. When things aren't going according to plan, it's in these times that the wives of the coaches have to hear a little more than they want from their fans. This could make it a challenge to love them as Christ has called us to do.  As wives we put of our defensive mechanisms and want to protect our husbands and his reputation.  We know what capable he is of doing his job.  We want everyone to know that he is a great coach and we certainly want to turn around and tell that fan a thing or two about what it’s really like to coach football. It’s in these moments that you need to find some levity and bring it all back into perspective. 

We once worked with a coach that said, “There are two things that everybody in the world thinks that they can do well: 1) Make a peanut butter sandwich and 2) coach football.”  The wives loved this statement and so we came up with a little hand signal that was just for us when moments got intense and we were finding it hard to love our fans as ourselves.  A wife would simply hold up two fingers and we would all have a little laugh.  The moment passed and we all had a better perspective.

So when things get tough, just remember the number two.  Christ called us to remember two things. Love Him with all of our hearts and to love our neighbors as ourselves.  There are two things everyone can do, make a sandwich and coach.  Hold those two fingers high ladies and love well!

Cheering you on,
Laurel