But it IS Personal

If you’ve ever read any of my blogs I hope that you know that I try to be thoughtful about what I write. I never want to come across as knowing everything or hurting anyone’s feelings as I write. I’m not the overall expert in being the wife of a coach but I have tried to learn from my mistakes over the years and I try to be intentional in my writings. Some things I mull over in my mind and write and rewrite for months.  This is one of those blogs. Please know that it comes from my heart and it not intended to hurt feelings or friendships. It’s about a phrase that is used in passing and I’m sure if anyone that uses it stopped to think about the hurt that it brings they would stop saying it. Ok – so here it goes.

I’ve heard the phrase several times over our years of coaching and each time I hear it I want to come unglued.  The phrase usually comes after a parent as expressed frustration about the coaching staff and in some cases even called for the staff to be let go. The phrase – “It’s nothing personal.” After hearing it, I bite my tongue, count to ten and just nod. 

Here’s what I’d really like to say:

Don’t you get it?  That coaching staff that you just criticized and are calling to be replaced spends more time with your child and up at the field house than they do with their own friends and family. Even when my coach is home, he’s on the computer working game plans, watching film, checking grades, responding to your emails, on the phone with other coaches, on the phone with parents, responding to texts from students and athletes, the list is endless. When we are out to dinner it’s the same. He’s responding to urgent emails and taking calls. If we run into you while out in the community, he stops and talks and listens to your questions, concerns, comments, critiques.

It’s personal. It’s very personal. My coach wants what’s best for your child.  He wants him to succeed on and off the field. He wants him to grow physically, spiritually and academically. My coach is all in when it comes to your child – so it IS personal. If you’ve spent any time with us at all you know that we think of your children as our own.  They are a part of our family. They are on our Christmas cards. They eat dinner at our house. It IS personal.

My coach invests in your child on and off the field. Whether you child starts, sits the bench or somewhere in between, he’s invested in his well being. You aren’t there at school and at every practice. You don’t see the one on one conversations that are taking place. You are probably not aware of the text conversations. My coach is listening to the thoughts and frustrations of your child. He’s investing in him and showing them that sports teaches more than just playing time and success.  Sports is like life, sometimes it doesn’t go according to plan. There is always someone smarter, faster and stronger. Your attitude does determine your altitude.  Your work ethic says a lot about your character.  My coach is trying to teach life lessons that will make him a better man. Sports is just a blip on the radar of your life, but the man that you become lasts a lifetime. Set your goals and hearts on eternal things not just that playing field.

My coach has invested twenty years in coaching. He’s all in. To invest that long proves that it IS personal. Please don’t insult him by saying it’s not.

That’s what I’d like to say, but I don’t. I’ve learned over the years, it’s not my place and that it would probably do more harm than good. So, I write and rewrite it in my mind for months. It’s how I process. Now I’m finally putting it out there on my blog for the world to see. I hope that you as you read these words you see the heart that it behind them.  It is personal for me and my coach and we are all in for your child.

Cheering you on!
Laurel