I’m not a Widow

Now that football season is here a lot of people I talk to like to refer to me as a “football widow”. They make remarks like “Oh, you husband is in season so now you’re a widow again.” Or “So, how’s it being a football widow again this time of year?”

I’ve really come to hate that term.  I’m not a widow.  I’m still married.  He didn’t die.  He’s just busy.  He’s obviously at the school and the field house more than he’s home, but that still doesn’t make him dead and it still doesn’t make me a widow.  When your husband actually dies and leaves this earth and you the wife are left behind then you are a widow.  Your husband doesn’t choose die. It just happens.  My husband chooses to be a football coach and he chooses to go to work.  There’s a big difference there.

Yes, it’s a crazy time for the next four – hopefully five- months but he’s still alive.  He’s choosing to coach. He’s choosing to do a job that he loves and has a passion doing.  He chooses to invest in the lives of the young men he’s coaching.  He’s choosing to teach them not only the game of football but about everyday life. He’s choosing to show them what it means to be a man of God. He’s choosing to show them how Christ has made a difference in his life. He’s choosing to show them how to be a good husband and what it looks like to love his wife.  He’s very much alive and I’m still not a widow.

I understand that while he’s very much alive at the field house that means that there are things at home that I’m going to have to deal with alone.   Yes, I know that something major is going to break and I’m going to have to deal with it.  This year that something has already broken and I’m dealing with it and we’re just out of two a days. I understand that I may have to go to work, family or church functions without him. I understand that weekends are spent without him and that things like date nights become virtually non-existent.  Even with all of that, we’re still married.  I may not see him much, but I still see him. He’s still physically in this world.  I do get to hear him laugh, see his smile and watch him fulfill his passion on that football field every Friday night.  He’s not gone forever. He’s just busy.

So for those of you who like to refer to me as a “football widow” – please don’t.  I’m still happily married.  He may not always be with me when I’m out and about but he’s still alive and a part of my life. Our married life may look different than yours but it works for us. My coach is fulfilling God’s call in his life and I’m cheering him on for listening and obeying that call.

Cheering you on,
Laurel