If you’re not a part of the coaching world you probably
think the season ends with the last game. Those are the same people that think
once you walk off the field or the court for the last time of the season you don’t
think about it again till it’s time take the field or court again next year. Those
people are wrong on both counts.
If you are coach or married to one you know that the moment
your season ends you enter the in-between zone. The in-between zone can either
a time when you are simply waiting for offseason or your second season to start
or it can be a time of uncertainty. That
uncertainty is usually related to job status. Your coach is either looking for
a new job because he’s lost his or he’s looking for a new opportunity to move
up or sometimes just move out. You are
caught in the in-between or in a state of limbo. The dictionary defines limbo as: an
intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place.
For coaching families limbo is hard. If your coaching staff
has immediate changes, it’s hard on the family that’s affected and its hard on
the other families on the coaching staff.
If you are close with the families on your coaching staff you are hurt and
frustrated for those that were asked to leave. If your coach or another good
friend is promoted into that vacant role you want to celebrate for them. You find yourself in the in-between zone
trying to support both families. While
in Sunday School today, we read the Romans 12:15. It says “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.”
Often times you are laughing with one friend
and seconds later turning around to shed tears with another. This is the part
of coaching that not people see and it’s hard and it hurts but I’ve learned
that you continue to love and you continue to grow. Friendships may take on a new look but if
your roots are deep with those friends they will grow deeper. You may not be on
the same staff the next season but you still have your friendship and they are
just a phone call, text or even a Facetime away. There’s also always the chance that you can
be back on the same staff at some point in the future.
If you’re not in limbo looking for a job because you have to
you make be in that limbo world of waiting for your coach to see what else is
out there. Is there a chance to move to
a bigger school? Is there a chance to
become a coordinator or head coach?
There’s always a chance for something new on the horizon. This is always the time of year when wives
living in limbo wonder if they buy that cute shirt or dress that happens to be
school colors or do see if they have that same cute shirt or dress in a more
basic color that could transition to any school? Do you start that house project or wait till
his contract is signed and he’s looked you in the eyes and promised that you’re
staying put for at least one more season. Do you sign the kids up for summer
camps and activities and ask if there is a refund policy in place in the chance
that you’re moving? Welcome to the
in-between zone.
The in-between zone is hard. When transitions have happened
at our school(s) I’ve found myself running errands in another suburb just so I didn’t
have to run into a parent or school board member or any member of the community
for that matter. I understand that they have questions. I usually have
questions too. I’m not the head coach. I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t
know what his wife is thinking either so please don’t ask me that. I’m sure she’s
running through the same emotions we all are at the moment. I’ll usually surface again after the emotions
have died down and after I’ve maneuvered my own in-between zone.
Just yesterday my friend who is also the wife of coach and I
were discussing that most people enjoy spring and the new possibilities it
brings. For us it’s just another year in the in-between zone. We wait to hear
if our husbands are staying or going. Are they interviewing for a new
opportunity or content for another year?
We’ve just learned to trust that they are praying about what’s right for
them and for our family. We remind each other to be their Ruth and go where
they need us to go and cheer on their team wherever and whoever it may be for
the season.
Excuse me now. I’m
going to go put Romans 12:15 in to action and laugh with my friends who on the
brink on new and exciting things and also shed some tears with some of those
who may need a good cry. See you on the other side of the in-between.
Cheering YOU on!
Laurel
Laurel
