Put My Game Face On and Bite My Tongue

Not every season can be a 10-0 season. Some seasons are tougher than others. As the wife of a coach, those are the seasons where I’ve learned that as I pull into the parking lot that I need to take a deep breath and put my game face on. I’ve learned to leave my day in the car with all of its frustrations and put that all aside for three hours and focus on my sport, my team and my coach.  That’s not always been easy for me, but I know those fans have no clue as to what else is going on in my life and I also know that my life is not a priority for them. That game and that moment are what matter to them. I’ve learned that whether I think my team is in for a battle or a cake walk I have to walk into that stadium or gym with confidence and show no fear. Parents are watching and they pick up on what the wives are throwing out there. If they see me grimace or cast a look of doubt or worry, they pick up on it.

Whether my team is having a great season, a so so season or a horrible season my game face and my attitude say a lot to those fans. My coach and team are counting on me.  When they hear the fans yelling from the stands they need to know that I’ve got their back. I’ve got their back in my demeanor and actions but this is where I’ve learned to bite my tongue.  I’ve learned through the years it’s not the job of the coach’s wife to tell fans that my husband and the other coaches know what they’re doing. It’s not my job to remind the fans that so and so missed his block or blew his coverage.  My job is to cheer on my team and bite my tongue. I want to defend my coach and his fellow coaches and to defend my players, but that’s not my job.

As I’ve walked through the years with my coach I’ve observed a variety of high school and college wives to see how they navigate the art of having a game face and biting their tongues. Some choose to sit away from the fans in a box or seats away from the parents. Others sit in the stands but learn to zone out the crowd. I once knew a wife that simply handed a fan a piece of paper and pen and said just write it all down and I’ll give it to him when he comes home. (Not sure that I would recommend that strategy.) What I’ve learned is that I need to do what fits my personality best. Every wife is going to have to learn to handle the situation with what works best for her.   I’ve learned that what works best for me is to sit with a group of trusted friends, take a deep breath, pray and remember that Proverbs 21:23 where it says “Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” Nothing good can come from me engaging with a fan. It’s better for me and better for my coach to keep my game face in place and bite my tongue.

So on Friday nights you’ll find me pulling into the parking lot, taking a deep breath and putting on my game face. I love my coach. I love my team. I’ll be there to cheer them on no matter what the score and no matter what the fans have to say.

Cheering you on,
Laurel

The Not So Simple Homecoming Mum

I’m not sure when it happened but sometime between 1987 and 2014 Homecoming Mums ran out of control.  If you’re not from Texas Homecoming Mums are hard to comprehend.  If you are from Texas every year that passes mums become harder and harder to comprehend. I thought maybe that it was just that I was becoming out of touch or that maybe I had grown too old to get it but as I sat in the stands last night with my fellow coaches’ wives I found that I’m not alone in my thoughts and confusion.

Mums are no longer just mums. They are no longer a simple corsage or a large flower with a few ribbons and streamers.  Mums now have become the size of billboards and involve lights, boas, bells, whistles, regular sized stuffed animals and more tinsel than you would find on a standard sized Christmas tree. There are now rules about what colors each class can have and how many of each certain item should or should not be on the mum. I jokingly asked our team chiropractor tonight if he had ever considered sponsoring homecoming.  The size of these things has got to make your back and neck feel miserable after hauling them around all day. Gone are the days when a simple corsage pin or two would work to hold your mum on your dress.  Now girls have to practically wear a harness around their neck and most likely need to work out in order to wear them. They have become so large that even when grown men put them on to see what the fuss is about they are amazed at the weight of them.

My fellow coaches’ wives and I pretty much lost focus on the game and became fascinated with what we saw. It became a game to see who could spot the biggest and the brightest. We started tallying up the price tags of the mums and figured that if we stalked up on after Christmas sale items like bows, ribbons, lights, etc. that we could start our own side business and finance vacations for all of us next year.  One wife had spotted a mum in the local grocery store that was on sale from its original $500 price and cut to $300.  You have got to be kidding me!  I realize that things are the same as they were in 1987 when I graduated high school but at that point in time $40 was a ridiculous amount to spend on a mum.  Now you want $500 for a mum?  Come on!  Where does this end? It would be one thing if this was something you were going to use again or wear again but all this for just one day at school and one night at a football game I think just seems a bit over the top. 

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the garters!  What the boys are wearing these days on their arms are larger than the mums were that we had in high school and those cost twice as much as well. 

 

I wonder if you could start a resale shop or even a rent a mum business?   Think about it. You could just swap out the ribbon with your name on it and maybe a couple of the accessories. You wear it for the day and then turn it back in after the game. You save money and you have your pictures for memories and one less thing taking up space and collecting dust in your room.  It saves your bank account and it saves the stress of all those poor moms having to run around town to gather all of the items needed to make the mum and then actual stress of putting it together or finding a crafty friend to help with the major undertaking that is mum making.

If my thoughts and observations on this subject offend you, I’m sorry.  I’m not judging you or your mum. I actually helped make a mum this year and it was pretty impressive if I do say so myself. I’m just simply amazed that a simple corsage has evolved into such a major production and financial commitment. I’m just wondering when enough is enough and it becomes too much. If you need me, I’ll be off contemplating my idea of a mum resale shop.

Cheering you on!
Laurel 

(all pictures were taken from the internet and are not actual mums from our school)